Chapter 18

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My face seeing you guys go off in the comments, and me making you wait 4 days for a update knowing I left the story off on a sad part 🤣🤣🤣

Billies POV
My mind can't believe what the fuck just happened. Y/n comes over my house, goes off on me, then breaks up with me in my own fucking house. To say I was shocked was an understatement. I thought our relationship was going good, and everything was fine.

When she comes over I didn't know that this was gonna happened. I didn't know she was mad I distanced myself from her. I did it to ease off the suspicions of us dating to our friends. The way she yelled at me left me shocked.

It wasn't until y/n broke down in front of me that I understood, I broke her heart. The way she poured her heart out to me and got everything off her mind. The way she felt about me denying our relationship. The way she felt about me saying she was just a fuck and we would never date. The way I would act totally different in public then when we were alone. How I was being a hypocrite about her being friends with Lauren.

How I made her feel like I was embarrassed with our relationship, and only cared about my reputation. When she confessed that she loves me. That she's totally in love with me, but now regrets it. I can't believe that I made her feel that way our whole relationship. I didn't even realize that I was hurting my love this whole time. Now it's too late for anything.

I've lost the best thing that happened to me.

Y/n was different from everyone I ever talked to. She's the only one that I've ever wanted to be in a relationship with. The one that made me wanna settle down for once. Now she's fucking gone because of me being a total oblivious asshole who didn't know I was hurting her.

I let my fear of judgment and other people's opinions mess with my head. I knew everyone would accept me but my head wouldn't let it happen, and now I'm in this situation.
I partially blame my inexperience in relationships for this. I get into a relationship with someone I genuinely care for and push her away.

I should've just told my friends. I should've not made her feel I was embarrassed of our relationship, not cared of peoples opinions, and been a total ass. I should've told her the truth about Q when she had asked me. I lied to her in fear of losing her, just to actually lose her.

Once y/n broke up with me my heart shattered. I can't believe I just lost my whole heart off of my actions. I even pleaded with her. She just gave me the so called freedom I wanted. The real freedom I want is to just tell the whole world that I am bisexual and tell the world everything about her, and I'm a little to late for that. I can't blame nobody but myself for this shit. Y/n just walked out of my house leaving me a total sobbing mess.

As soon as those words left her mouth I lost all control of holding it in. I watched as she walked out of my house with tears in both of our eyes. I quickly walked out my house to see her already pulling away. I wanted to run after her but I know it's no use. Before walking inside I look down on my door mat to see something that broke me more.

Y/n left the necklace that I brought her with a note on the mat. The same necklace I brought when I asked her to be mine. I wiped some tears out my eyes, and quickly picked up the necklace and note off the ground. As I began reading the note more and more tears flooded out my eyes, that my vision was blurry. I held the necklace to my heart like it was y/n herself.

Dear Bil,

If you find this note I just wanted to tell you that I wanted to give your necklace back to you. It's a beautiful necklace and I wore it everyday while we were together. It's almost as beautiful as you. I just wanted to tell you that I thank you for this relationship and all the good times we did have together. You were the first ever I have told I loved. That's a real accomplishment. I also wanted to thank you for teaching me a lesson. I learned that not everyone likes you how they say they do. I learned when I see signs of someone not actually caring to take my gut feeling so I don't get hurt anymore. I learned to not always go with my feelings and go with my instinct. Thank you Billie for teaching me valuable things to help me in the future. I hope you take this as a lesson also. To never hold back to truth and just express your feelings and emotions. Im now learning to get over you, but I don't know if that's possible since I fucking love you. I just wanna say I wish you the best in life my love.

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