"I'll promise to wait for you... so when you get discharged, we can take it slow... but I'll be waiting for you."
how immature Jennie was when she promised Jisoo that while she was in her embrace, inside jisoo's room, cuddling away in her bed.
not e...
warning: mentions of self harm -------------------------------------
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february 17th 2018
me Hey! 🤗
jisoo🌎 hi
me How are you feeling? You weren't here today again 😓
jisoo🌎 okay. sorry
me I miss you!! I have your work that you need to catch up with
jisoo🌎 thanks
me I love you 🤗 read
jennie sighed and looked at her phone, curled up in tiny room on the bed. she had her phone in front of her, lying on the bed left on the chat with jisoo.
what had gone wrong?
why was she being like this, so secretive and distant?
was she hiding something?
did she not trust jennie?
jennie curled up further into herself, refusing to let the tears fall down. she wasn't much of a cryer surprisingly, but yet the past few months she had been breaking down in her room because of one person.
she had given up most of her time to hang out with her friends for jisoo.
she had given up her time for jisoo
she had cut down on her food for jisoo, because jisoo would refuse to eat until jennie would tell her if she won't eat she wouldn't either. so jennie started sharing her food with jisoo. jennie in her first years, had been eating 1 and a half portions of a hot meal because moonbyul would not finish her food and now she had cut down to just have less than half.
she made sure she was there for jisoo.
she made sure jisoo knew that she was loved and that she was beautiful.
she had given up herself for jisoo.
jennie had even self-harmed out of worry and fright for jisoo.
why couldn't she see that she loved her.
of course jisoo couldn't help that she had a weak immune system and was sick often, leaving jennie worrying over her. she had to resort to texting her to make sure she was okay which jennie hated.
because jisoo would become cold and distant, which made jennie question everything.
their relationship had been wavering, progressing and crushing backwards so often that it made jennie's head spin.
but yet jennie had been keeping all her feelings down and had been bottling it up. she didn't want to tell jisoo, she didn't want her to feel any worse because of her.
jisoo had depression and jennie thought she'd be piling her problems onto her and she didn't want that for jisoo. because she loved her.
this whole thing was so confusing, jennie's heart hurt and her head was aching.
but jennie was also a ticking time bomb and at that moment she knew.
she was done. she was done feeling like shit. she was done feeling like she was the one putting the effort. she was done with not feeling loved. she was done with feeling useless even though she was using her everything.
she was mentally exhausted from trying to support someone else rather than herself
wiping the oncoming tears, she picked up her phone and instead switched to her text messages with taehyung.
a smile grew on her face as she saw the familiar texts that were the only source of true happiness of her day. not that her friends weren't making her happy, but that sort of happiness was temporary.
she actually looked forward to texting taehyung as they have been texting everyday now. this was another kind of happiness and she wasn't letting go of it any time soon.
taehyung asked her about her day and they would text from the early hours of the morning to the late hours of the night, making jokes and getting to know each other. they mainly flirted with each other in a joking way. they kept repeating how they missed each other and how they couldn't wait to meet each other. jennie had decided to meet up with wheein and wheein's friends again, the same date as last year but this time bring her friends to.
but jennie felt wanted for some reason.
although she was afraid of telling taehyung about how she really felt about jisoo, because taehyung supported their relationship a lot.
she was on the point of exploding of emotions and breaking down.
