"I'll promise to wait for you... so when you get discharged, we can take it slow... but I'll be waiting for you."
how immature Jennie was when she promised Jisoo that while she was in her embrace, inside jisoo's room, cuddling away in her bed.
not e...
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february 20th 2018
religious studies. a subject in jennie's school about ethics and religion, along with social discrimination and prejudice over the course of history. they were currently learning about Martin Luther King and the whole movement of getting the vote.
but recently, it's been a rant-out session for jennie, talking about her crisis with the girl who sat next to her, hyejin.
jennie had especially been feeling down and told hyejin the whole situation with jisoo and with taehyung.
the first thing she was met with, was a disapproving gaze. "you should just break up with her you know." hyejin sighed but jennie shook her head immediately and replied.
"i still love her and besides, people like taehyung will hate me."
"this isn't about them, jennie. it's about you and her. look, give me five minutes." she said bluntly, getting out a piece of paper and starting to scribble on it.
jennie sighed and looked back at the documentary that was playing on the wide screen projector, the teacher was too busy typing away on her laptop that she didn't care if the students were paying attention or not.
jennie decided to pay attention for awhile, propping her elbow on the table and her head on her hand.
when hyejin was done, she tapped jennie's shoulder and showed her the paper.
it was a series of flow diagrams, with each of the boxes coming out with two arrows, either 'yes' or 'no' which led onto another box and finally the last two big boxes were 'break up with her' or 'don't break up with her'.
jennie looked over at the other, an eyebrow raised and trying not to smirk. the other held her serious expression and pressed the pen into jennie's hand. "if I can't tell you, maybe in black and white it will."
jennie, realising that hyejin wasn't joking around, proceeded to fill out the quiz
╔══════════╗ ║do you love her║ ↲╚══════════╝↳
"yeah of course i do." jennie said immediately, following it down the 'yes' arrow
╔═════════════════╗ ║do you trust her with secrets║ ╚═════════════════╝
"i mean yeah, but some secrets are meant to be kept to ourselves you know..." jennie said, leading her pen down the yes line.
"let me change that a bit." hyejin decided, taking the piece of paper back and correcting the box. she then gave it back to jennie and jennie saw the correction she had made.
╔═════════════════╗ ║does she trust you with stuff║ ╚═════════════════╝
"i don't think so.." jennie admitted softly, her lips forming a frown. "she doesn't talk about how she really feels to me and i doubt it even more especially after the whole thing that happened with chaeyoung's boyfriend."
"the thing where she stayed up talking to chaeyoung's boyfriend until 3am and when chaeyoung found out she was fuming and crying because she thought jisoo was trying to steal her boyfriend?" hyejin asked very quickly.
jennie nodded reluctantly, the whole ordeal still making her tense. "they were taking about deep stuff and chaeyoung had a nightmare the night before that her boyfriend was taken away by someone. it all also happened when chaeyoung and lalisa were on the school trip abroad so for the rest of the trip, lalisa had to comfort chaeyoung as best as possible."
"well how did you feel about it?" hyejin asked and jennie shrugged, hesitating to either lie or tell the truth.
"i... i did-do feel jealous and i understand chaeyoung's point of view. like why tell him at 3am and not me. do you not trust me... but the thing is.." jennie trailed off, regretting what she was about to say, because she knew it would validate what she truly felt.
"the thing is..?" hyejin pressed on.
"i kinda knew... that she wouldn't talk to me... so i found it unsurprising unlike chaeyoung." jennie sighed slowly, feeling a bit ashamed. without another word, jennie went down the 'no' arrow.
╔═════════════════╗ do you feel pressured to make her happy ╚═════════════════╝
"i...i..." jennie froze slightly, her eyes widening in the realisation that it was indeed true. "i mean i always try my best to see if she's okay and if they're hungry or sick or-"
"to the point where you ignore how your feeling." hyejin interrupted.
"no that's not true hyejin-."
"really? then why are you feeling so tied down? why do you feel like this if you're not happy." hyejin said, narrowing her eyes at jennie. "you basically ignore your friends now for her." hyejin emphasised the 'her'.
jennie looked into hyejin's eyes and she could see the pure jealously and annoyance.
"is that what you feel like hyejin..?" she asked softly.
"ask your other friends, you think i'm the only one who feels like this? lalisa, chaeyoung, moonie, irene, minnie... they all feel like that. you keep putting jisoo on top so you forget about the rest of us."
jennie looked down, almost in shame. the thing is, she was now realising how much she had been ignoring not only herself, but her friends too.
jennie proceeded to curl up, crossing her arms on the desk and putting her forehead on. hyejin patted her back and played with jennie's long brown hair.
"your decision affects people too."
"oh i know that too well... taehyung would kill me if i-."
"it's not about taehyung! news flash, taehyung doesn't know how it's like to be you." hyejin protested, still playing with the elders hair. "scrap what i said, it's only about you jennie."
jennie simply nodded in her position, her situation getting worse.
side note : my book has now been entered for thewattys2019 so good luck to everyone and please support me ☺️
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