Home (Kim Namjoon x Reader)

Chapter 5

Jungkook watched with regretful eyes as Tzuyu left. He had wanted to say more, say something clever, but instead, it came out more cheesy than he wanted. Seeing her up close made his heart jump faster than anything else ever did. The meeting wasn't the best, but it could be the start of something new. He thought it was strange and fate, that she was friends with you, because it meant he could get closer to the both of you. For different purposes of course. He took his usual seat and looked over at you and Namjoon, holding in his grin. He thought back to lunch.

Namjoon, over the screaming fan, was talking about his nervousness to be near you but he would do anything to have you within his reach. So the playful Jungkook texted Seulgi to move somewhere else so that Namjoon could take her seat. She agreed immediately because Namjoon promised tickets to his show. "Got a plan, pop star?" he had asked his hyung.

"Say hi to her?" Namjoon answered with a lack of confidence.

"That's the lamest thing ever."

"Look who's talking, international playboy. You hadn't even talked to that one girl yet." Namjoon argued back.

"For your information, her name is Tzuyu and I'm too scared to talk to her."

"Scared of what?"

"Rejection. Isn't that what you're afraid of hyung? Isn't that why you never told Y/N you still love her?"

Namjoon was speechless. Fear, rejection, those were the reasons. It wasn't because he wanted you to move on like he'd been preaching, but he had been selfish and was afraid for himself. He was also being selfish when he had wished you would still feel the same way about him, wished that you would think about him and only him. It was delusional, like wishing that pigs could fly. But hope remained in Namjoon, like stars in the sky, stars in the galaxy.

You were trying to focus on the lecture at hand, but the eyes glued to your side made it impossible to focus. You could have said something to him, but that would give him the satisfaction of you talking to him and he could take it as a sign to keep talking to you. But at the same time, he was answering the questions perfectly. Kim Namjoon never ceases to amaze you, as much as you hate to admit. There's nothing he can't do. His voice was warm, and every time he spoke, it was like music, the sound of a breeze, so clear and easy to love. It made you wanted to cry.

Being near him just made the memories came back. He wore the same deodorant as he did back then. His hair, after numerous hair job, was back to his brownish black locks. His hair wasn't styled today, occasionally he would shake his head to move the hair away from his eyes. He looks different from how he normally does onstage. You would never admit this to anyone, but you watch live performances, occasionally. Your mom would kill you if she knew, she would kill Namjoon if she sees him. She's still on bad terms with his parents after he left. You've always felt bad for it, considering they were all good friends before you were even born.

"Mr. Namjoon," announced Mr. Lee, "Since you obviously enjoy staring at Y/N, care to tell me the answer to this question?" Your eyes widened by his statement and your cheeks flushed with red. Beside you, you felt Namjoon also tensing up but he wasn't embarrassed. He let out a soft chuckle. How nice that he could laugh at something like this. You felt the stingy gaze of girls all around, they were ready to kill you. He turned to Mr. Lee and said the correct answer, which surprised everyone but you. He was always the brightest, the most charming, the most attentive.

"I did good, right?" he leaned over and whispered to you. It made you shiver, the distance, the warmth. As usual, you ignored him. His smile was fading a little, but only a little. Finally the bell rang, students immediately got up and jumped to Namjoon's table. They weren't paying attention to you, thank god. As you walked out the door, you couldn't help but glance back at him. His eyes met yours, he looked pitiful but you kept walking. It was technically the end of the school but you had to help out with the music department because Tzuyu was in it. She plays the flute and sang a little. You were there to support, and help run errands.

Tzuyu was already in the music room along with the other students, setting up their positions before the conductor came in. They always practiced on their auditorium on stage. You took your usual seat in the back, still on stage, and did some homework. When the doors opened, the students stood up and bowed to Mr. Hong, a middle age man with a great beard. "Alright gang," he said. "I got a treat today." He pulled out a stack of music sheets and handed it to everyone. They were surprised. It was a vocal piece with orchestra background. "Now, I would love it if Tzuyu could sing but I need her on the flute. Let me see...." He was thinking, the choir department was in the middle of preparing for their competition so there was no way he could ask any of them. Then he looked at the back of the room. "Y/N." he said loudly.

Your head jerked up, you were only half listening to what he was saying. "Yes, Mr. Hong?"

"Come up here, please." So you slowly walked over to the front. Many of the students knew who you were so you felt less stress, like Jimin, Taehyung, and Seokjin. But still, you hated the attention. "Here." Mr. Hong handed you the vocal part. "Why don't you sing this piece with us?" he asked.

You stared at him, then down at the paper, and then back up at him. "W-what? No, I-I can't sing."

"Nonsense, I've heard you harmonizing with Tzuyu before." Mr. Hong laughed.

"That was just for fun, I-I can't sing for reals."

"Well, if that's what you call for fun, I would love to see you trying." You looked around, everyone was expectant, they were also looking forward to you, either to support, or to make fun of. You nodded your head and he raised his batton. Everyone was ready. It was an arrangement by IU, And So Love Is.

The instrumental started, soft and slow. Seokjin was playing the acoustic guitar and everyone else followed him. You breathed in and began.

Love earnestly called out

But there's no answer

No matter how much love approached

You got farther away

Few eyes glanced up at you, they probably weren't expecting much from you and you also didn't expect much of yourself. But Mr. Hong was nodding in content, so you kept going.

Out of all those people

Love chose only you

So love became the wind that you can't catch

That you can't have

At this point, the doors opened but your back was to it. You continued to look at the music sheet and sing, not really focused on the environment behind you.

All night, my dreams bring you to me

This voice I'm hearing for the first time became my laughter

Suddenly, I see your back ahead of me

My heart won't stop for a moment, feels like it'll explode

Even if my love is a love I'm doing alone

It has all of the precious things fill up my heart

Even if my love is a love I'm doing alone

It's eternal, it won't wither

Mr. Hong motioned for everyone to stop, including yourself. But he didn't say anything to you at first. Instead, he spoke to someone else behind you. "Ah, RM-ssi, to what do we owe this pleasure to?"