Home (Kim Namjoon x Reader)

Chapter 11

"Y/N, can we do something else? I'm bored." the young child complained. You chuckled and put your pen down. When you did that, his pout turned into a smile instead.

"Taehyung, you were the one that suggested doing homework together." You both were in your kitchen. Taehyung said this morning at school that he wanted to do homework with you later that night and considering you never had any plans, you agreed. For the first hour, he was really serious about everything. But then he started making paper airplanes and pulling slices of onions out of his pocket. Neither of those things surprised you so you just kept on doing your work.

"I know. But we've been working for 2 hours, let's take a break." he whined.

"Alright, what do you want to do?" you asked, closing your book.

"Hmm, we could watch a scary movie and you could cuddle with me?" he asked in a tone similar to that of a kid asking for candy. You couldn't help but smile.

"Taehyung." you said quietly. It had been a couple of weeks of him being your "boyfriend" and for the most part, everything was good. Namjoon left you alone and you were grateful for Taehyung being by your side. He gives you space and doesn't ask for much, but it doesn't stop the knot of guilt from forming in your stomach. He seemed to have sensed the commotions.

"Don't worry, I'm just joking." he said with a grin. He did touch your hand, which you let him. "How about we make cookies?"

"Cookies?"

"Yeah. It'll be fun and we can bring them to school tomorrow."

"That could be fun. I think we might have the ingredients." You got up and went to check your cupboards for supplies and ingredients. Taehyung leaned an elbow on the island and watched you. He would laugh out loud when you couldn't reach something, but you didn't ask for help, he wished that you would. It was only when you couldn't reach the mixing bowl that you had asked for his help, and he was more than happy to do that. "You're so short." he said.

"Being short makes it easier to hide that I'm sleeping in class." you told him. He let out an exasperated gasp, a hand at his chest.

"You're telling me the great Y/N sleeps during class?"

"Shut up." you laughed, punching his arm lightly. "It's easy to do when Johnny is the one sitting in front of me." Taehyung stopped laughing and frowned. "What's wrong?" you asked.

"Don't talk about other boys when you're with me." he said with a growl, it was the playful kind, but he was pouting.

"You big baby, I talk about Park Seo Joon in front of you all the time."

"Yeah, but that's different." he whined.

"How so?"

"Because I have a crush on him too." he said seriously. "But Johnny is like real."

You raised an eyebrow. "So is Park Seo Joon."

He shook his head a little. His hair moving with him, it bounced around. "Yeah, but he can't get to you. He can't be next to you. Johnny can." He lowered his head shyly. You moved closer to him and placed your pinky on his hand that was flat on the table. It was weird, even though so he was so close to you, so close that you could feel his body heat, you still felt nothing. It was as if your heart couldn't react to anything else anymore.

"Taehyung, you realize that you're in my kitchen right now instead of Johnny or anyone else, right?"

"But if you could choose, would you want anyone else here?" he asked, lifting his head slowly to look at you. He seemed unsure and so were you, honestly.

"If I had it my way, I would never have anyone here." you said, half joking. It made Taehyung laugh, finally.

"Have you ever thought of having him here instead of me?" he asked.

"Johnny? Maybe, he'd be able to reach the high shelves." you shrugged, moving away from him to set up the ingredients. Taehyung followed and helped with the eggs.

"You know who I mean." he said. The first egg cracked outside the bowl and he gave a sheepish smile.

"Why are we talking about him?" you asked, not looking at him while mixing the flours together. "Wouldn't you get jealous?"

"I'm serious. Since we started this, you haven't talked about him and I'm concerned."

"Shouldn't you be happy? It means that you're doing a good job."

"Y/N, tell me how you really feel. You can't just bottle up everything. And even if you're not talking about him, doesn't mean you don't think about him. I want to know these things."

You turned to face him, and used his head to crack the last egg. He rubbed that spot and pouted. "What is there to talk about?"

"Do you think about him?" Taehyung asked immediately.

"He lives across the street. He's on Billboards and posters and CF. I can't escape him." The sound of the mixer was the only thing breaking the silence.

"But do you think about him when you're alone?" he asked again, obviously wasn't satisfied with the answer he had gotten.

"Do you want me to say yes?"

"I want you to be honest with yourself." he said. Over the course of the relationship, you had told him little pieces about you and Namjoon, it was enough for him to know the story.

"Why are you doing this?" you asked out of frustration. "Yes, I think about him. I think about him when I breathe, when I sleep, when I sing in the shower, when I see the sun. It hurts so much that I never want the sun to rise again. Are you happy now?"

Taehyung nodded and hugged you tightly. Your frustration at him melted away and you hugged him back. He smelled of Chanel and chocolate chips."Y/N, I realize that you will never fall in love with me."

"Tae." you whispered.

He smiled sadly. He had realized the minute you agreed to be in this pretend relationship that you would never fall for him. But he went along anyway because he wanted to be near you. It was selfish, it was wrong. He could no longer let you run away anymore. "No, it's okay. But it's not okay for me to do this anymore. I'm pulling you away from something that you're meant to go after. And I won't let you hide anymore."

You were speechless, you never expected him to say that. It was true and you didn't want to admit it yourself.

"But can you do me a favor?" he asked. You nodded into his shoulder. "Go on a date with me."