Another Moment Passing by...

Chapter 23: On The Outside Looking In.

Chapter 23: On The Outside Looking In

*Dani's P.O.V.*

I sat in the backseat of Harry's car, staring at the curly head and the blonde as they drove home in silence. I know, I'm creepy, but oh well. You can never trust kids these days. Not that either of these children were making any sort of move. Megan just stared out the window, her pale forehead against the glass and her glassy green eyes flickering at an astonishing speed as they stayed focused on the foliage blurring by. Harry kept a firm grip on the wheel and stared straight out through the windshield with a clenched jaw the entire time. I mean I guess it was safest that he focus on the road, but the mood was just so unnerving. My goodness, it was so uncomfortable even I could feel the awkward! And I'm dead!

Oh yeah, that. Well, you see, it's a bit complicated, but it's also pretty cool. I went to "Heaven" I guess, but there were no golden gates or whatever shit. When all the breath finally left my lungs, I saw the cliché "bright light", but when it faded and my vision cleared again, I was in my old bedroom at my old beach house. It wasn't an eerie scene at all; it was actually the most peaceful place I've ever been. I wandered out, possessing a foreign feeling of ease and pleasure, a strange lack of fear. I felt like I belonged, like everything was the way it was supposed to be. And as the smell of my mom's famous chicken parmesan and garlic bread wafted into my nostrils, luring me into the kitchen, I could've cried I was so happy. Because as my bare feet came in contact with the old, linoleum floor (not that I could really feel it, only faintly) there was Derek and my mom. Derek was pouring three glasses of milk as my mom set out three plates on the cute, small, yet function square wooden table. My eye widened as a huge smile of disbelief spread across my face.

She had smiled up at me warmly, her warm, shining, cocoa brown eyes meeting mine as her shining white smile greeted me. Her hair was still a dark brown bob to her chin, slight gray hair shining in her side bangs. She herself had never looked better; she even seemed to be glowing. "Welcome home, shmunchkin," she said, giggling a bit as she spread her arms open. I laughed at the old nickname, the one I had always hated but now was the most amazing sound in the world. I thought I would never hear that angelic voice again, and now its beauty was just magnified. The voice that soothed my tears when I scraped my knee, or when Derek hid my favorite stuffed animal, or when I got my period for the first time and thought I was a freak because it came fairly early. The voice that always told me how beautiful I was. The voice that made every problem go away. I ran into her arms, tears sparkling in my eyes as I breathed in her familiar scent. I swear, your parents may drive you over the edge at times, but there is nothing more comforting than the love in a mother's hug. Especially when you haven't felt her arms around you in five years.

"I missed you so much," I whispered, pulling away. She grinned at me sadly.

"I missed you too, baby girl," she replied.

"You didn't have to go and do that you know," Derek's soft voice came from my left. I turned to see him gripping the counter, facing away from me with his head down. My blood ran cold, and my mother's sorrow sigh, didn't help.

"I-I just couldn't anymore..." I stuttered, trailing off. The thought of making them go through that... I didn't even ask if they saw. I didn't want to know.

"They miss you ya know," he responded, slowly turning around and lifted his head so his mocha eyes met mine. I held his gaze, not sure what to say. I just nodded. I knew. I could feel it. I could feel them missing me all around me. It was comforting to know, but I didn't want them to be depressed. Especially not Harry. Megan was quick to understand, I knew. Haley and Julez would take time, but it's not like they didn't see it coming. They knew about my depression, the abuse, and even the self harm.

That made me think.

I hadn't seen any bullet wound on my mother. I flipped my arms over and examined my wrists. They were free of scars and soft to the touch, just as they were when I was eleven and would write Jonas Brothers lyrics on them. I pulled up the hem of my shorts slightly to find an absence of scars there as well. I lifted up my shirt, no yellow or black and blue or anything. Just tan. It was like a new start. I smiled a bit, but I was also a bit upset they were gone. I kind of thought of them as my battle scars.

But then I remembered; I lost the battle.

Once again I was enveloped in one of my mother's soul-warming embraces. They then proceeded to explain that I would sort of... watch over everybody. I thought that was a bit stalkerish, but I wanted to see them so badly. Plus, I would do anything to make sure they're okay.

So basically, I follow them around and they don't know it. And I can switch from watching my friends to being with my mom and Derek as I please.

However, sometimes I just appear next to one of them. For example, if Harry's feeling really terrible I'll just appear next to him. It kills me )and I'm already dead, so that says a lot) when I have to watch him cry and can't so much about it. I guess my presence keeps him from doing anything too stupid, controls him a bit, but I just wish I could actually be there for him. I don't necessarily regret ending it all, life was the same as hell basically, a living torture, but I did miss him. I missed all of them. That's why I was so grateful I could still see them. Even if they couldn't see me. It was kind of nice, actually; I kind of felt like their guardian angel or some cheesy shit like that.

But seeing Harry sleep with all of those girls... I wish that didn't happen. Ever. I tried to force him out of it, but nothing I did worked. The alcohol was too strong by the time I made it I guess, and I wasn't sticking around to watch the "action". I think what hurt me the most about the situation was that it took a whole month for anyone to say anything to him. I also hated how oblivious he was to the fact that he and Megan were perfect together. I mean I guess I was a little jealous at first, especially when she first kissed him earlier, but I love them together. Plus, the fact that Meggy asked my permission via Ouija Board made me happy, so of course I let her love him. Now he just had to allow it.

But by the looks of it, not much progress was being made. They were still sitting in silence. Becoming bored, I sighed exasperatedly, knowing only I would hear it. I closed my eyes and focused on thoughts of Julia, teleporting myself to her bedroom. (Yeah, I don't know how that works either. I'm still adjusting to the whole "ghost" thing, okay?) She was lounging on her bed, her face buried in one of her murder books. Her pink and black Juicy glasses were on her side table, and I remembered that she had trouble seeing distant things, not up close. She looked so cute in her classic-Julia navy tank top and red plaid flannel short. Her light brown hair was tucked behind her left ear, still parted drastically to the side as always. Her pale legs were extended out, her bright blue eyes widening as yet another plot twist unraveled. She was so cute. So cute and utterly oblivious to where her boyfriend's lips had been.

Yep. I watched the whole Haley, Louis thing go down. So Niall wasn't the first to know, I was! Ha! Take that Irish boy! I thought in a sort of twistedly humorous way. Anyway, I knew it was a horrible thing for both of them to do, but I kind of found it adorable. And honestly, who didn't see that coming? Well, Haley didn't... or Julia or Megan... but everyone else did. Niall did, he just didn't want to admit it to himself. Which was adorable and made me want to hug him. Not that he would feel it...

I guess that thought pulled me into Niall's room, where he and Louis were perched on the bed. They were sitting criss-cross applesauce, facing each other, the two blues of their eyes colliding; innocent pain and guilt meeting. "I'm sorry," Louis whispered. Guess I missed the confrontation, I assumed. Niall shook his blonde head, forcing his lips into a small, sad smile.

But that's the thing about being dead. I can see things no human eye can. I can feel things that any of them are feeling. I can tell when they're all lying. That's how I could tell it was just a cover up when Niall insisted he was fine. I could see the muscles in his mouth straining to turn down, the tears begging to fall. His aura was completely gray blue, and very hazy. I could almost see a rain cloud over his head. It made me sad to see my little Nialler like that. He wasn't supposed to be sad.

"No, you're not fine," Louis interjected. "None of this is fine." I smiled proudly. Damn right none of this is fine, I silently agreed. I mean I loved Lou and Haley, but they just really fucked up. I could tell the guilt in the ocean tinted orbs was sincere though, and Lou's aura wasn't too bright either. Why are these fuckers always so sad? I wondered, a bit fed up with the depressing mood.

"Well it's not like there's anything we can do but forgive and forget," Niall replied decisively. Although he appeared strong on the outside, I could see through it all. He was completely dead inside, as if someone had hit an off switch. Well, I guess they had... Something good needs to happen, I decided. I would make something good happen. I just didn't know how. While my mine pondered on that, I floated on down and wrapped my arms around Niall. No, I didn't go through him. I could feel his aura in my grip, just not his physical being, nor could he feel me. I felt his mood lighten a shade or two, which made me happy with myself.

"I'm still sorry," Louis responded, obviously not knowing what to say. It was clear to me that he still wanted to make it up to Niall. The guilty clockworks were spinning in his brain, thinking of things that would possibly get Niall to feel better. Nothing simple like Nando's, he eliminated, it has to be amazing.

Oh yeah, I read minds too. Just a little fun fact.

I was cute how Louis genuinely wanted to make it up to him. I also think it's good that Niall knew and Julia didn't; that was the safe way to go. Niall would just be hurt, but he'd eventually get over it. Julia, on the other hand... let's just say hell would break loose.

Just as Niall and Louis were going in for a bro hug, I was transported downstairs. My entire aura went ice blue with cold hatred. That Veronica slut-cunt-bitch was driving Michelle close to tears. Meesh was trying to be strong, but I saw how scared and internally vulnerable she was. It was heartbreaking how much the perfect blonde was being shattered by every cruel hit Veronica threw at her. I wanted to kill Veronica, possess her or something, but I guess that's not allowed, because all I could do was watch shit go down. As the scene ended, I let Zayn take care of Michelle as I followed Veronica. Concentrating intently, I managed to get myself to float through the door just in time to see Harry pull up with Megan. Veronica leaned against her silver Lexus, arms crossed as she watched Harry climb out of his car, Megan emerging from the other side. The bundles of nerves in Harry were quite clear to me; I could sense his emotions most clearly. I guess We had the strongest connection. The one with Haley was pretty strong too, but not quite as strong as with Harry. He approached the pissed, frigid bitch cautiously.

"Listen, Vero-" he began in his low, slow voice only to be cut off.

"We're through," she stated simply, her agitating voice cutting through the air like a knife. Harry's eyes widened a bit as she just climbed into her car and sped away, but a small, surprised smile formed on his lips. His soft, kissable lips... Stop, I reprimanded myself, remembering that he was with Megan. It was easier to accept as he turned around and their gazes met. The love they were both too blind to notice shined in my eyes, just as strong as staring into the sun. The connection they both passed as a crush was so much more, and I was happy for them. They belonged together. It was clear. I couldn't help but wonder, however, if Harry and I shined like that when he laid his eyes on me...

Pushing the nostalgic thought aside, I smiled as Harry mused humorously, "Well that was easy." Megan giggled, agreeing by taking his hand in hers and heading towards the front door. I followed, the spark between them so strongly magnified in my hyper-sensual state that I thought it might hurt if I got too close. They were too cute, just like two little seventh graders who had no idea what they were doing. It was nice to see Harry so clueless, unsure, and innocent for a change. He just seemed so inexperienced, and it was adorable. I loved that Megan brought that out in him.

*Harry's P.O.V.*


I plopped down on the couch, extremely relieved that I had Veronica off my chest. I was curious about her reasoning, but I didn't really care. All I cared about was now I could sort out my feelings for Megan without feeling guilty about feeling them. She headed towards the stairs, but I let out an indignant noise of disapproval before she could even reach the first step. She turned around and sent me a questioning look, a smile playing across her lips. Her pink, French lips whose kisses always leave me wanting more. "That was a pretty manly sound," she teased. I rolled my eyes, smiling as I opened up my arms to her. A slight blush rose to her cheeks, making me want to kiss them even more. I wasn't sure exactly when the feelings formed, but now that I had nothing to feel guilty about, it was as if the attraction had escalated immensely. I mean there was still Dani, and I still loved her, but I was beginning to realize that Megan was my future. Dani was simply a part of my past that I would never ever let go of. I'm not sure when I made this discovery, but it sure cleared things up a bit.

And as Megan's soft, warm body fell gracefully onto mine, I genuinely smiled for the first time in a while, wrapping my arms around her and burying my face in her silky blonde hair. As cheesy and stupid as this sounds, the sun was finally starting to peek through the clouds. The sky wasn't yet clear, but I knew things were looking up.