My Unfaithful Bodyguard

47. Just Went For A Walk

The following month after I threw Nick out of my building went slow as a snail. Every minute, every second was eating me alive. Thoughts of Nick were consuming most of my time making it impossible for me to focus elsewhere. I thought that removing him out of my life would make it easy for me but it only backfired. I was only and only thinking of him. And the fact that he did not try to contact me after that incident was killing me more. I had that only question in the back of my mind 'Is he going to call me? If he does what am I going to say?'. Every call or message that I got in the month, I thought it was from him. My heartbeat picked up with every single call on my phone. I cannot believe what I did was going to affect me so much. I really thought that he would at least contact me some way or the other and sort things out because my heart didn't want to throw him out of my life.

Jacqueline's plan worked I guess. I should be happy but why is it biting me inside?

A piece of me had the hope that he'd come back and talk to me and I'll tell him what was the truth but he never called. I checked my phone thousands of times this entire month to see if he had messaged or called, but he didn't. At some point, I thought of calling him myself but I had no courage to talk to him. I was sinking low and low. I did not know how to face him. I wanted to talk to him, I wanted him to know the truth but I had no courage to face him and it was too late.

I had a feeling that he might break our contract and cut all the business connections between us but I didn't hear about it either. I did not know what to think and how to work things between us now. I had already thought about our business situations before hand and then it sounded very simple but now that I'm in the situation, it is not. Everything was too blurry for me to figure out. I couldn't talk to Christian about it so I told Jacqueline, even though she didn't say a word about how wrong I did to Nick, I wanted her to tell me that I did wrong and I should apologize to him. Instead she told me that I did the right thing. I knew that wasn't the case, even she knows I did wrong.

On the other hand, things with Christian were going smoothly. Maybe because he is with me the whole 24 hours of the day. We spend all the time together, day and night. I'm used to being with Christian now, I cannot function without him. I need him by my side. He knows everything about me, he knows every little detail about me, what time I wake up, what time I'm in my deep sleep, how much honey I put in my black tea, what makes me cranky, he can tell by my face what mood I'm in, he basically has become my shadow and I cannot live without my shadow.

After what happened with Nick, Christian sensed that I'm sad but he didn't ask me why, maybe he knows the reason. He may have sensed something was wrong with me so he started spending his free hours with me. Even on some nights he would share my bed with me, just to be by my side.

Eventually, I told Georgina about me and Christian and she couldn't be more happy for me. She even started giving us more privacy which I appreciated. Georgina already liked Christian and got along with him nicely. After she found out about us she started taking more interest in us and in Christian. I knew Georgina, I could trust her and she would not disclose it to anyone, I mean she has been keeping my secrets since I was a kid. Mom got someone to talk about as well, Georgina told me that they both haves talked about us on and Mom is worried out us two. Which is plausible because hammering your each toe is easier than to convince my Dad. He is a difficult man with a stubborn nature who doesn't take no for an answer and doesn't give up until things don't work out the way he likes. The reason why he is successful. I know I should think about Christian and my future but I need more time to prepare myself to confront Dad. Plus with all of this mess flowing around me, it's not the perfect time to unfold everything before him.

Even with all this going on, I couldn't wrench Nick out of my head. He was always stuck in the back of my mind. His face, his eyes, his smile and all of the beautiful things he has ever said or done to me were always playing like a stuck up song in my mind which I needed to complete before it starts to kill me inside. He always crossed my mind and that was starting to irritate me now. I don't understand what's wrong with me, I mean Christian is with me... I'm with the person I want to be with and I'm happy. I don't know why my heart doesn't want to accept it. Maybe I really made a mistake....a big mistake.