He stared down at the headstone. His chest ached. The dirt had settled, and an array of flowers began to bloom. It was March first, which would have been her eighteenth birthday. His hands were buried within his pockets, temptation creeping into the back of his mind. He could easily slip off his daylight ring and join her, but he knew he wouldn't find peace. He would die for nothing, because she's now an angel while he would be sent straight to Hell for his life's actions. His eyes welled with tears despite the breathing exercise he had began, his chest rising and falling in a slow pace.
"Hi, beautiful," he croaked. He jerked his hands from his pockets and ran them through his thin, dark hair. "God, it's been a whole year here without you. I don't even know why I'm here anymore, if I'm being honest with you." He knelt down before her tombstone, grazing his finger tips over the cool rock. "Everything started to make sense when you were here. Now I'm floating in a state of unknowingness." He chuckled at himself. "You make me into a poet, and I didn't know it." Despite the tightness in his chest, he found himself laughing. His rear landed in the dirt where he stretched out his legs and leaned back on his hands.
"Elena misses you every day. They had a memorial for you. You're locker's been retired, apparently." He snorted. It all felt a little too much. It wasn't like Carter attended often. She either was with Damon or Stefan and Elena. "Your mom is throwing a remembrance party for you tonight. I think she's making all your favorite foods and whatever." He sighed. His eyes trailed upwards toward the light blue sky. Clouds littered the horizon, but the sun was still there. It was still beating down on Damon, like it was challenging him.
"I've almost taken this stupid ring off about a million times. I keep thinking, why am I here? If one of us deserved to live, it's you. But I'm so selfish that I can't even kill myself." He tore his eyes away from the bright light and focused back on Carter's name in stone. There was a small oval glued to the tombstone, a photo of Carter the past year smiling wide. Her fiery hair was tied into a braid over her shoulder, her lips stretched into her radiant smile with her dimples prominent. Damon remembered the way it felt to see those dimples in person. He remembered the way it felt being the reason she exposed those dimples. He ran his fingers over the picture, tears once more welling within his icy blue eyes.
She wasn't alone in the photo. He thought that maybe it was a picture with Kaitlin, the only friend that truly insisted on photographing memories. But then he noticed his shirt. He quickly withdrew his cellphone from his pocket. She would send him a message from beyond the grave. He scrolled through his photos until he found it. Carter, looking radiant. She hugged Damon's side tight, her face glowing. Her cheeks were red. And Damon... he was smiling. His fingers dug into her hips as she sat on his lap. His eyes remained on hers, even though Kaitlin had begged for him to look at the camera. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the strawberry blonde. "Kaitlin," he whispered, his tears free falling.
He stared back at the headstone, his cheeks becoming a shade of pink. "I love you," he choked out. "I love you, Carter. And I will forever. But Bonnie doesn't think the spell is working..." He wiped at his eyes. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to say goodbye just yet, but he knew it was time. "This is goodbye, okay?" He pressed a shaky kiss to the photo of Carter before he stood to his feet. His emotions took control, shaking his shoulders and stinging his eyes. He fell onto the headstone, sobbing. He was never going to see her again. Or so he thought.
