Alpha Titus (editing)

twenty

'cause i have hella feelings for you, i act like i don't fucking care, cause i'm so fucking scared'

I've come to learn that while Titus' mother did make many of the clothes, a lot of them are stuff bought from high end stores with fancy brands, including the Calvin Klein Sports bra i currently wear and the sweats i paired with it. Regularly i would just wear a t-shirt that's miles to long but i guess this is what we're going for today.

I pull the tons of papers from the small backpack i carry with me during my lessons along with my fine liner before heading downstairs. I head back into the Living room, immediately spotting Amity back on the electronic she got just hours ago. I take it from her hands as i sit back on the sofa. "Homework," I say in an ordering tone as she glares at me, she huffs as she picks up a paper with large letters written on it. Her bright pink pajamas catching my attention repeatedly.

I sigh as i look down staring at the numbers on the sheet in front of me that i can only just make sense of. I repeatedly use my calculator, checking the answers over and over so i don't turn in a absolutely terrible piece of homework.

I can hear Titus in the kitchen as he walks around opening cupboards and placing items on the counter. I ignore the loud bangs and grunts of disapproval as i focus on the next piece of homework, half of which i don't understand from my missed time at school.

"Dinne-," Titus cuts his sentence short causing me to lift my head so i gave him, he stands in the doorway with his hands at the side as he just stares at me, which i have trouble deciding how to take it. Should this be creepy or romantic or am i overthinking everything?

"You ok?" I question as i stare at his frozen figure tucking a piece of hair behind my ear as his gaze causes my cheeks to burn up. He coughs, breaking out of his trance, "Yea," He almost whispers as he gazes at me, "Better than ever. You look beautiful, by the way," If my cheeks could go any redder, they would. I had completely cleared my face of makeup and kept my hair down rather than pulling it up like i would usually do, and while i know he's completely delusional, it means a lot.

"I'm not, but thanks," I whisper he looks like he's about to say something but a beeping comes from
the kitchen, ultimately taking his attention as to not burn down the entire house. He grunts before heading back into the kitchen, I look back down at the sheets of paper as i continue answering some dumb questions that i will never need to know the answer to.

I hear his footsteps once more and he emerges into the room again, placing a bowl of what looks to be tomato soup in front of us, i smile at the food choice, something i haven't had since i was a young girl, i remember my dad made it for us, my mom hadn't tasted a single drop of alcohol in years and Charity wasn't even a thought.

I don't even realize i have a tear falling down my cheek until i feel Titus wipe it away, "What's wrong?" He questions sitting beside me, placing a hand on my back, playing with the ends of my hair as he hunches forward looking at my face. "Nothing, just me being silly." He doesn't accept it, i know that much, but i'm saved by the bell when Charity starts a conversation with him, leaving me to nibble slightly on the buttered bread and take small spoonfuls of soup, My mind being clouded with memories.

I remember finding out mom was pregnant, i had been ecstatic, my father however, had just started drinking, he hadn't cared much, i remember my mother screaming at him countless times when he stumbled through the door with alcohol in his hands and the stench in his breath. I remember hearing him with other women and begging my mom to leave him but she couldn't, she loved him. So he did it for her. One morning we woke up to him being gone, his stuff had disappeared and all that was left was his wedding ring and divorce papers with a not that simply said 'sign and send' My mother had just given birth, she was depressed, a single mother with a twelve year old and a newborn to take care of, so she followed his path.

She turned to alcohol, She became the one walking through the doors at three in the morning with alcohol in her hand and a man from the bar next to her, i became the one to yell, i also became the only one who actually cared for Charity. I started taking. money from her wallet, placing it in places i knew she wouldn't look so i could use it for the groceries, I managed to befriend a kind, elderly woman who i lived near and she cared for Charity while i was at school.

My mother's appearances started becoming less and less frequent before they stopped completely, she was gone, i called her phone over and over, but it just went straight to voicemail, and i became a fourteen year old girl with a toddler and no parents, not that anyone knew that. I refused to even allow the chance of us getting separated into different foster homes, so, i hid it from everyone. Told them my mom was a night owl when they asked, or that she was at work.

Eventually people just accepted it, and so that's how i managed to keep her with me, now i'm a legal adult, no one could take her, i'm her legal guardian whether they discover it's been that way since she was born or not. But now the question is where are my parents, did they find each other and rekindle their love over sex and alcohol? Are they even in the states anymore?

"Tesoro?" I hear his voice, bringing me out of my trance. I look up at him, feeling the tears in my eyes before looking down at the food in front of me, the simple thought of swallowing it makes me want to puke, "I'm done, Thank you Titus." I say as i stand, placing my barely touched bowl of soup in the kitchen,

"Amity," I hear his calming voice. I turn to face him after wiping a stray tear. "Yes?" I ask, looking up at him, his eyes practically search me, as if they can see right through me. "Amity, what's wrong?" He questions me for the second time, "I'm fine, Titus."

"First, mia madre always told me when a woman says 'i'm fine' she's never fine, and Second, I can feel it." Stupid. Freaking. Mark. Showing off my emotions. I shake my head as i look down at the floor, breathing in slowly as tears rush down my cheeks.

"I've been alone for what feels like forever. I basically became a parent at 12. I'm just so tired of everything, I'm tired of feeling guilty for my parents leaving, I'm tired of having no help with her and her terrible twos stage never ended. I'm tired of living in a body i'm not happy with. I'm tired of everyone's judging eyes when i walk her to class instead of our parents. I'm tired, Titus." I feel his warmth around me as he bends, placing his arms around me.

"You are Beautiful, You are Strong, and you are the Bravest person i know." He whispers to me, "Titus, look at me, I trip over every little thing, I can't drive without being a threat to everyone on the road and in the car. I can't cook without almost burning the house down, and don't even get me started on how i look, Titus, look me in the eye and tell me you think that's normal." I rant, not expecting him to do as i said but he does, He places his hand on my cheek and stares into my eyes, "Your eyes are beautiful, tesoro, and you're clumsy, so what, who cares, it's adorable, you can't cook? Well that means you can't tell me off for treating you to a home cooked dinner and not being able to drive isn't needed when you're driven everywhere, which you will be, so you're fine."

I stand stunned. No one had ever spoken to me like that, like i was worth something, and while the doubt in my mind still stuck, i threw my arms around him, hugging him tightly. "Thank you, Titi."

DOUBLE UPDATE AND IMPORTANT NOTICE

IMPORTANT PLZ READ: ALPHA TITUS IS MINE, i have not and will not copy it. I judy wanted to add this in because i got accused of stealing someone else's work. Alpha Titus is inspired by MANY books on wattpad, there are events in my book that have been inspired by other books eg an upcoming event is inspired by the book his possession in discretion. However most of it is mine, if there is a book similar to mine, then i'm sorry, but i spend hours a day writing for you guys so it sucks to be accused of something that isn't true. Also i forgot to specify what sort of time period it is, i'm thinking its around just turning March, if i've states any different then ignore that 😂