forty one

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'i always want more of you'

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'i always want more of you'

I sigh as i sit in front of the mirror, my hair tied up into some fancy bun the Libby did, my makeup done to perfection and my body clad in a dress that i thought i would wear years from now

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I sigh as i sit in front of the mirror, my hair tied up into some fancy bun the Libby did, my makeup done to perfection and my body clad in a dress that i thought i would wear years from now. I stare at myself almost not recognizing who i am, The contacts i wore now lay in the trash as i embrace the unique look i was given, the outfit i wear probably costs more than the apartment i grew up in, and most importantly, i look as though i missing a part of myself, the part that made me laugh on the dimmest of days, the part that gave me a purpose when i thought i had none, my sister.

If she were here this probably wouldn't be happening, i would probably still be putting it off for as long as possible, but she's not, and no matter how hard it is, i have to accept that. I pick up the care bear and push its stomach once more, the sound of her voice fills my ears causing me to smile as my eyes tear up. "It's weird here without her." I hear Libby's voice causing me to turn my head. I nod, not having any words. "Sometimes i forget, I forget that she's gone for them few moments and everything's all right and then i see something and it comes flooding back." I say as i look down at the bear, I feel Libby's manicured hand on my back as i speak.

"I feel like i shouldn't do this, My sisters gone and i'm here moving on with my life, i'm here being happy without her." Libby takes a sharp breath in. "Amity, you shouldn't feel guilty for being happy, how ashamed would Charity be if you just decided to dwell on it forever, she wanted you happy, it's why she was so excited that you found Titus, because despite everything, she could tell you were becoming happy."

I take a moment to recollect myself before i nod, "I'll be happy for her." Libby smiles at me before her eyes widen as she stares at the alarm clock beside my bed. "Shit, it's almost Midnight, we need to get you to the hall thingy, i don't know what they call it." I laugh but nod all the same as i pick the white dress up off the ground, i know this technically doesn't make me Mrs. Romano, but it means i can't leave him and though we aren't exchanging rings and saying vows, it's still eternally binding.

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