Fulfilling Fate - Book 3

Chapter 8 - Promises

Asimina

Fluttering my eyes open this morning, Raffaele's arm is over me, and his chest pressed hard against my back. I let out a breath, easing the pain in my chest. I feel cheated on, and I'm heartbroken. I know what it's like to lose someone to death. The pain is unbearable. The weight on your chest feels like you are being crushed, and nothing eases it. I never really dealt with my father's loss, so the grief consumed me when my mother died. It's why I rammed my car into that barrier. I wanted to stop feeling all that pain, just for a moment. It's also the reason I so quickly got onto that stage. I couldn't go through the pain of grieving again.

I understand where Raffaele's mental state must have been, but the heartbreak I feel remains. He was sexual with some else, a Di Vitto at that. Regardless if it was a second or an hour, she had her taste. Do I see it as cheating? The question I ask myself is, should it be considered cheating when someone believes you're gone? I did deceive him.

Rubbing my teary eyes, I carefully and slowly slide out from under his arm. Sitting up on the bed, I give him a glance over my shoulder. He's still very much asleep; his features are relaxed, and he's content. His dominance and aggression never fail to weaken me, and strangely enough, settle my raging episode or emotional meltdown. A part of me was desperate to replace her touch and claim my territory. He's mine and no one else.

Tears prick my eyes once more. Fuck! What I feel for him is beyond anything I've ever felt. I'm scared of becoming that woman who caves into a man regardless of what he dishes to me. My love for him controls any logic. Raising to my feet, I pick up some clothes and head for a shower—fear claws at me at how vulnerable I am in the hands of one Raffaele Morelli. Will I always be making up excuses to justify his actions? The whole situation is fucked up.

Turning the tap on, I slide under the steady flow, sealing my eyes, indulging under the hot water it soothes the burn in my muscles. Do I walk away from Raffaele? Do I cut my losses and live a life where I will always long for him to protect myself from further heartbreak?

My breaths get shaky, and I muffle my cries with my hand. Sliding down the wall that is missing several tiles, I bring my knees to my chest. I keep reminding myself of the state he must have been in. At the same time, I can't get past how quickly he tried to move on. How much do I mean to him? My heart slams itself against my chest in anguish. I'm lying to myself. I always doubted what a man like him could see in me. He left me once and never looked back. How many women did he fuck then?

Lifting my head, my eyes snap towards the sound of his voice. "What thoughts are tormenting you?" He startles me. Raffaele stands, naked, leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. Those fierce eyes are locked on me.

My lip quivers, and I desperately try to swallow the lump in my throat. How must I look to him? Pathetic comes to mind. There is no point in lying. He can see my despair, "I can't do this," I mumble.

"Can't do what exactly, Asimina?" His voice hardens, and his body stiffens. His features are distorted as he waits for my response.

Lowering my head, the water continues to pour on me. My heart starts to shatter, "Us. I can't do us, Raffaele."

Blowing a defeated breath, his jaw locks. His fast movements have him standing in front of me, seizing my wrists, and pulling me to my feet. "I'm not letting you go. You're not leaving me. I'm not going to fucking lose you!"

I'm so emotional that I can't think straight. Sobbing, I take serval breaths to settle, "You don't see it," I state and seal my eyes at the tormenting thoughts racing through my head.

"Look at me when you're talking," he demands and frustratedly pushes the shower head up, stopping the water from directly falling onto us. "I don't see what?"