Asking Alexandria Tour

Goodbye my lover, hello my friend.

[✔ edited as of 27th June 2014]

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[Monday - 11AM]

This was the first time in a while that I had woken up in my own, empty bunk.

Last night had been rather awkward for me and James.

We'd ate in silence after he'd mentioned the tour almost ending, and us not being able to continue the relationship possibly.

I was silent because I knew he was right, we'd only been with eachother for a week, but it felt like forever. I was in love with him so much. 

**

Once I was dressed for the day ahead, I looked out of the window, the bus was outside the next venue already, and nobody was to be seen.

Sam and Cameron were still asleep, and the others must have been setting up in the venue and meeting fans. 

I headed straight to the kitchen and started making myself some coffee and pop tarts. I sat and ate them on my own.

After that, I rang home, there was no answer, my parents must've been at work and Lucy was obviously at school, so I just left a message telling them I was okay and we were heading around the last few venues and we'd be back by Saturday. 

I felt sadness come over me again, I only had six days with James left, and then I'd go back to work, back to a normal life. How sad. 

"You okay dear?" Cameron said to me, fully dressed and pouring himself a coffee, sitting down facing me. 

I sighed. "Not really Cam. I've only got six days left with you guys and then I'm home again, back to a normal life, and I probably won't be able to stay with James will I?" 

Cameron shook his head and looked sad for me.

"I know how much you like him love, you've really shown it. He needed someone like you in his life, and he still does. I think you should enjoy the last memories you get with us, and he can always stay as a friend I guess." 

I nodded, I guess he could, but being friends obviously wouldn't be the same.

I'd go back to being single and James would go back to fucking and throwing away girls, it was killing me to think of it all.

I felt the tears stinging my eyes. 

"Aw love, come on, don't let yourself get like this." Cameron said, standing up and hugging me.

He was so kind, he'd be quiet on the whole tour so I didn't really realize how kind and caring he was under all the joking and pouting to look good for the ladies. 

After a good twenty minute chat after the hug, Cameron left me alone and went to practice for the show.

[12PM]

I was still sat on the bus, now completely alone as I started playing Deaf Havana, singing along and crying.

"Don't believe, a single word you've heard about me." I sang.

Then, before I knew it, someone grabbed my waist from behind.

I turned around to see James, he kissed me straight away.

I noticed, just before he kissed me that he was crying also. The kiss was perfect and it seemed to last for what seemed a lifetime.  

"Amanda. I love you, but we can't do this all anymore, I have to let you go, even though it fucking kills me inside. I really want to stay close friends with you, you and me both know we won't be able to date once you go home." Those words he spoke killed me over and over inside.

I knew this would happen. 

I kept crying and so did he.

With tears pouring down my face, I nodded, I couldn't speak.

My heart was being smashed into a thousand pieces, I knew it wasn't James' fault, I knww he hurt too, but I guessed he wouldn't take it as hard as me, and that hurt even more.