The Alpha & Beta's Mate (MXW)

Shadows

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***Collin's POV***

The last few weeks have been a learning experience. The stress from secrets that were buried too far down to reach, it weighed heavily upon my spirit.

Stress had become my constant companion.

I had so much going on with accepting my title as Alpha of The Red Moon Pack. Being a leader was a stressful position. This didn't come as a surprise. Just a little inconvenient in my current state of mind.

Ivana had officially become Luna at my Alpha ceremony. She seemed to slide into the role with grace. She was born to be a leader. I guess, in reality, I was as well.

I'm not complaining. I will forever be thankful for this opportunity. I just have to figure out a semblance of structure under the current conditions.

Too many times over the last weeks I have began questioning the life I had lived. Alpha Grey exposing his skeletons had left my mind in a tailspin. Too many variables had stuck into my mind. The unanswered questions urged me to seek answers. I started delving into the story I thought was my beginning.

As with any secret, the truths we are awakened to, are not always concrete. Every secret begets more secrets. Every answer leads to more questions. This is how I have found myself being rocked from my quick sand foundation.

The more I revealed, the less I wanted to have unveiled. Yet, curiosity intruded my thoughts, demanding to be sated. I became obsessed with uncovering everything once and for all.

With the help of Ivana and my Father, I have revealed disturbing realities:

No bodies were every recovered pertaining to my mother and father. This isn't actually uncommon. Often in our world, evidence was destroyed. Word of mouth held more weight than it should.

Landon had staged it all. His desire to keep his image clean of stains provoked him to take drastic measures.

Instead of being orphaned, I was abandoned. This particular secret wasn't offensive. I had a perfect family, therefore I refused to be affected by the loss.

Landon had taken L to an undisclosed location. He sustained his title as Alpha by rebuilding himself a pack. He dropped his given name in lieu of an alias. He now goes by Alpha Jacob Livingston.

I can only speculate on his reasonings for abandoning me. However, if I had to guess, it was because he doubted my paternity. Unfortunately, I was actually his.

Honestly, I held no contempt for any of the characters in my personal drama. They had made choices. They probably never imagined the consequences.

In a way they are all victims. Victims of deceit, fear and cowardice.

In the end, too many lives were affected by their decisions.

I lie awake, more often than not, wondering how so many things could have been different had any one of them taken a different approach.

I realize how frivolous these thoughts are. I can't stop myself from thinking thru the what if's.

What if they kept me? Although, I have a feeling I would not have liked the outcome.

What if I belonged to Grey? This idea was neither appealing nor unappealing. The outcome would not be disheartening.

So many troubles could have been spared if not for the book of lies that had been written into my story.