ATEEZ 9th Member AU

Panic

Nari has a panic attack

Nari was sitting patiently in her chair as the stylist worked on styling her hair. She was fiddling with the hem of shirt. She hadn't been feeling the best since waking up this morning. Her heart had been beating hard in her chest and she was feeling shaky. She wasn't sure what was bringing on her anxiety, which only made her more anxious. She took a deep breath, closing her eyes. "You alright, Nari?" He stylist asked, not taking his eyes off what he was doing. "I'm fine, just a little nervous I guess." The stylist smiled, chuckling. "Who knew the Kim Nari could get nervous before a performance." She giggled, shrugging her shoulders.

All day, even during rehearsal, she had been struggling to keep her panic at bay. It felt like there was bricks stacked on her chest. She had been shaky all day too, barely able to hide it from the boys. She had the overwhelming urge to cry too, but she had been good at keeping the tears away. She stood up as the stylist finished. Her legs felt like jello, but she did her best to walk normally to the couch and sank into the leather material. Everyone was rushing around for last minute preparations before their performance and it wasn't helping Nari's anxiety with the frantic movements. She took another deep breath as she followed the rest of ATEEZ out of the dressing room and to the stage. She just needed to get through the performance.

Mingi frowned a little at the small, shaky frame in front of him. "Feeling okay?" He asked her quickly and she nodded her head, not trusting her voice to stay steady if she answered. Mingi looked at her with worried eyes but didn't press the matter. Finally, they entered the stage and instead of the usual adrenaline rush Nari usually had, she felt like the weight that had been on her chest all day had just rammed her full force. Her heart was beating a million miles a minute and hard. If she didn't know better, she would have thought she was having heart attack. Her chest hurt and it was hard to take a breath in. She did her best to suck it up, but even she could tell she wasn't dancing or rapping as strong as she could. She couldn't feel her legs and her fingertips were becoming numb and tingly.

When they had the few minutes to change outfits, she ran to the bathroom and sank to the floor, trying to control her breathing. She felt her eyes sting with hot tears and stared at her shaking hands, willing them to stop moving. Her chest was starting to hurt even more, and her heart felt like a jackhammer in her ribs. She tried gasping in air but was having no luck. She pulled her shaking legs to her chest and tucked her head, finally allowing the tears to fall. She needed this to end, quickly. She had to get back on stage. However, to her already growing frustration, her body would not cooperate. She heard someone knock on the bathroom door, but their voice sounded like it was far away. "Noona? Are you in there? We have to go back on stage now!" Even though she could barely hear his voice, she knew it was Jongho.

She couldn't speak and started scratching at her throat. She needed air. Why was there not enough air? This caused her to panic more and she leaned forward on all fours. "Noona, I'm coming in." Jongho said and he cracked the door open slightly. "She said she was going to the bathroom, right?" He was confused by the lack of response. However, when he opened the door and entered the restroom, he started panicking himself at the sight of Nari hunched over on the floor, gasping for air. "Noona!" He ran to her, falling to the ground beside her. "What's wrong?! What can I do?!" He was completely clueless as how to help. "I'm gonna go get San-hyung!" He sprinted out of the bathroom and straight to the dressing room. "Why are you breathing like you just ran a marathon? And where's Nari? We have to go back on stage now." Hongjoong asked.

"Bathroom! She's panicking. I don't know how to help." Everyone in the room froze. Seonghwa and San jumped up. "Where is she, Jong?" Seonghwa asked and Jongho told them she was still in the bathroom. "We need to stop the concert." Hongjoong frantically told their staff. "We can't. You all need to go on. We can exclude Nari from the second half." San sprung up, "then exclude me, I'm not leaving her alone." He ran to the bathroom, ignoring his name being called. He entered the bathroom and his heart nearly shattered at the small frame of Nari on the ground, doing her best to get air in her lungs. Her makeup was completely ruined, mascara cascading with the tears down her face. He noticed the red marks on her neck and how her hand shot back to it, scratching.

He slowly lowered himself on the floor beside her, grabbing her wrist to stop her from scratching herself. He pulled her shaking frame to his chest, making sure her ear was placed on his heart so she could hear it beating. "Nari, it's me, San-ie. Nari I need you to breathe with me baby." Nari could barely hear San talking but she did her best to listen. "Listen to my breaths, baby. Try to mimic them." He breathed in and out slowly and was relieved when he felt her starting to follow his breathing. He leaned against the wall, not missing how Nari tightened her grip on his shirt. "I'm here, Nari. I'm not going anywhere." He softly started singing Aurora to her.

Nari felt herself calming down, slowly. Eventually her sobs turned into soft sniffles and she was happy to start gaining feeling back in her limbs and air in her lungs. "I'm so sorry. The concert-OH GOD THE CONCERT!" She jumped up, feeling the panic starting again. "Hey, hey. Calm down. Hongjoong took care of it." San said pulling her back to him and she took another deep breath. "I'm so sorry. You missed the performance. I'm sorry oppa." San shushed her, kissing her forehead. "It's fine, Nar. The only thing that matters is you. Feeling up to going back to the room?" She nodded and San helped her up on her unsteady feet. He noticed how she put almost all her weight on him.

They reached the dressing room and he brought her to the couch, sitting her down and grabbing her some water and a towel. "Lemme wipe your face. You look like a racoon." She giggled a little, taking a gulp of water and laying her head in his lap. She felt drained and her body felt heavy. "Sleep, love. Jongho can carry you to the car and the hotel." Nari quickly drifted off into a peaceful sleep and San sighed, his brown orbs taking in her features.

"I'm so glad you're here with us, Kim Nari."