A new reality (Sayonika)

Natsuki

Why was she so nice to me? I was being so bitchy in the club so why did she give me her food? I mean I couldn't refuse it, that would've been weird and she was so insistent; I didn't want to take it but I was so hungry and I'm probably not going to get food tonight, I had a bit of a bad run in with him when I got home; he's locked me in my room again and there's no way I'm getting out. I can smell his food from here, it smelt like the ramen he used to make for me when I was younger, it was teasing... no taunting me, making my mouth water as the pleasant fumes hit my nose. I'll probably have to scavenge for leftovers tomorrow but I doubt that there'll be any, there's usually little left for me as his typical drunken state makes him more ravenous; maybe he'll be nice though and leave some for me, after all he doesn't want his plaything to die from starvation. In the meantime, I try to distract myself by writing a poem, it was the only way to keep my mind off of these nasty thoughts. It takes a while but I eventually get one down on paper and for once it was good, it gave me slight hope.

Cupcakes

They're very sweet and warm.

They're filled with good intentions.

It's normally sunny when I make them.

You always know what goes inside.

Mixing, mixing, mixing,

in the little bowl.

Put them in the oven

and wait for them to grow.

They can let you down though

and make you feel alone.

They can be awful and bitter

and mean and bad.

It rains when I don't have any,

leaving me empty and sad.

I want them so badly,

so now I'll make some more.

My hands are shaking when I finish, making my last few words wobbly, so I grab hold of my wrists to keep them still. Tears stung my eyes as my stomach once again whined loudly about the pain; I breathe in and out, remembering the club and the other girls. They all seemed so nice. Sayori was the bubbly one, kind and outgoing, being around her made me smile; Yuri was more shy and timid but passionate about her reading and writing, listening to her was interesting; and Monika is the leader, helping the club grow and flourish, helping me out by giving me that cookie. Out of all of them I kinda liked Yuri, even though we're clearly complete opposites, she seems interesting and I want to be her friend; maybe she could let me read her book. I'll definitely show her Parfait Girls, if she wants that, or maybe a more insightful manga that will grip her interest; thinking about it makes me excited for out next meeting, I can't wait to see them tomorrow.