A new reality (Sayonika)

Yuri

Trigger warning for self harm

My grip on the knife is firm and tight, the handle fit perfectly in my hand like the final piece of a puzzle, it was a satisfying feeling. My fingers twitched as I ran the blade over my arm repeatedly, the steel stained by the blood that seeped from the small cuts; I felt the pain start to kick in, small sharp jolts that made my arm feel numb, the heavy sensation settling on my skin and stabbing it like pins and needles. I held my breath and continued, making sure that none of the blood had dripped onto my desk, it would be difficult to get the it out the grain in the wood; I quickly wrapped a paper towel around my arm to catch the mess on my skin before it could get worse and stood up, finally finished with this tiresome yet enticing activity. I took the knife to the bathroom, cleaned the blood off and neatly placed it under my bed with the othersnin my wonderful collection, Eve had certainly enjoyed today's session with me, I know the sadistic bitch always did. I clutched onto my arm, squeezing the tissue into the cuts, bathing into the aching pain it sent throughout my body. I needed to at least stop the bleeding and clean my arm. While I waited, I picked up my pen and wrote a poem.

My ink pen

I'm prepared for the mess.

Tissues are at my side,

ready to be plucked from their cardboard house

to clean up anything that decides to drip.

My paper is in front of me,

Already stained from the ink of my pen.

I hold my pen in my fingers.

What should I draw today?

I had done circles yesterday

and lines last week.

The idea shines in my head like a lightbulb.

I run my pen along the paper

and draw patterns on my skin.

The ink leaks from my arm,

I take a tissue to mop it up.

A truly poetic feeling hums inside my hand.

It powers the pen,

turns the ink to liquid gold.

But then it all goes red.

I love it, I love this poem so much, the true beauty of my reasoning finally portrayed on paper, paper now stained by the redness of my ink. I hope they all like it as well seeing as I worked so... so hard on it.