A new reality (Sayonika)

Sayori

I sigh and let my phone fall to the floor, feeling even worse. Why did I have to give Yuri an answer like that? She didn't deserve that at all. Ugh, Sayori, you're such an idiot! I don't really know what came over me, I guess it was just that little part inside my head that tells me that I would just be a burden, I hate that part of me so much. I pick my phone up again and look back over some of my conversations. One of them was one I had with Monika earlier where we discussed some plans for the festival. She said that me and her could make some pamphlets together containing poems that each of us choose to recite. I thought it was a really good idea, it meant that we could spend some more time together, I would really like that. She was strangely specific with what she thought others could do to help, she said that Natsuki could make some literature-related cupcakes to help draw people in and she said that Yuri could be in charge of making decorations that would fit the aesthetic of the club. I agreed with both suggestions but it was how detailed each one was, like she knew something I didn't or something. I shivered at the thought. Suddenly, I heard a knock at the door. I begrudgingly got up to answer it.

"Hey Sayori!" I heard Ryan say from the other side.

I opened the door, putting on my best smile before it passed my face. Ryan was standing there looking impatient.

"That took you a while," he grumbled pushing past me.

"Hey, I'm tired and I didn't want to get up to answer the door!" I said defensively, closing the door behind me.

"Sayori, what if it was something important? You can't just not answer the door," he said.

"Don't be mean!" I replied, following him into the living room.

He sighed, looking around at the new mess I had managed to form in under a few days.

"Can't you keep this house tidy?"

"I had friends around," I said, pouting at him.

"Friends?" he looked at me confused.

"Don't just assume that you're my only friend, Ryan, that's mean!" I said, "anyways this conversation isn't meant to be about me, is it? Why are you here?"

"Oh, I almost forgot, I need some more advice."

"Okay..." I said, curious.

"So I saw that girl again the other day. She got pissed at me again, said she needed to apologise to a friend or something and that I got in her way. What should I do to not annoy her?" he asked.

Okay, so this was Natsuki. I'm not sure what to tell him, everything that happened on Saturday was still on my mind and I knew something happened between Yuri and her. I don't think I should mention that bit.

"Like I said before, don't be too overbearing, girls hate when a guy pays too much attention to them," I answered.

"Anything else?"

"Just be yourself, I think that she'll like the normal you more than the overly masculine guy you pretend to be at school," I said.

"I am myself at school!" he said.

I roll my eyes at this, I just wanted him to go away now.

"Now if that's all, you should get going," I said, smiling sweetly at him.

"Good idea," he got up and ran to the door.

"Okay-"

I heard the door slam.

"Bye..."

I groan and slide back down into my sofa, feeling tears in my eyes again. God, I need to stop crying so much, it'll only make me look worse. I look over and see my notebook again. I laugh, it always seems to be in very convenient places. Maybe I could write my final poem now, for the pamphlet that Monika is making. I won't send it to her yet, I'll wait a while. I begin to write it down, it'll be perfect, it'll be happy...