A new reality (Sayonika)

Sayori

Monika told me that she cared, she told me that I make all of them happy. I'm so glad about that. Maybe life is worth living if I live it with Monika. That's what I want to do. I feel so connected with her, nothing can tear me away from those apple green eyes, that sweet little smile she has, her hazel brown hair. I want to stay with her but I'm not sure why. I've liked Ryan for so long now but he's only ever thought of me as a childhood friend. Now Monika has come crashing into my life and I'm just confused. Who the hell am I? Am I even happy? Am I even feeling at all? The rain clouds are still there, pouring their drops of sadness on me. Why aren't they gone yet?

"Sayori?"

I looked up at Yuri, whose arm I was now cleaning and wrapping in bandages, and smiled.

"Yes, Yuri?" I asked.

"You don't think I'm a sick freak, do you?" She looked around nervously, avoiding my eyes.

"Of course I don't, your my friend and I think your wonderful," I gave her a gentle hug.

Yuri hesitated before hugging me back. It was horrible to think that she was so capable of hurting herself but her arm really does say a lot. We all promised that we would help her get better and make sure that she stopped doing this to herself.

"Yuri, please, if you ever feel like cutting yourself again come and tell one of us. We'll help you calm down and make sure you're feeling okay. It's heartbreaking to see this," I gestured to her arm, she looked away in guilt.

"I know," she mumbled.

"Pinky promise, you'll tell us if you feel like that," I held my little finger out to her.

"Pinky promise," she linked her finger around mine.

"Then it's settled," I said, taping down the bandage and putting the equipment away.

We both walked back to the other two who were whispering to each other about something. They instantly stopped talking when they saw us. I wonder what they were talking about.

"So should we continue the film?" Monika asked, already reaching for the remote.

"No, that's boring we should do something fun instead," Natsuki said.

"What would you suggest?" Monika stared at her with a questioning expression.

"I know just the thing!" Natsuki pulled out her phone and tapped on one of her apps. She showed the screen to us.

"Charades?" I asked.

"Well, yeah, it's fun. I used to play it with my mum before... nevermind about that! I just played it a lot and I thought it was fun," Natsuki looked away, embarrassed.

"Okay then, let's do it," I jumped in before the situation could get anymore awkward.

Natsuki was right, the game was surprisingly fun. We had a lot of laughs while playing it especially when Yuri had to pretend to be a goldfish. Afterwards, we ordered some pizza and watched more of the film while we ate. We then just chatted. It was nice to hang out with people for once. Ryan barely even talks to me nowadays. I remember when we used to play games all the time, then both of our parents left us on our own and we grew distant. That was when I first realised that I had a crush on him but I think that's slowly fading now. It happened when I first joined the literature club and met Monika. I'm kinda glad I did now.