Shift ✔️

Get Up, Get On - 19.1

Jace's POV

If my heart had to beat to survive, it would surely be dead by now.

I don't know if she was okay, and that is the worst part. There is part of me that hopes she was killed before she reached my father. The more selfish part of me hopes that she is somehow still alive. It is selfish because, if she does reach my father, I have no idea what he will do to her.

What he wanted me to do to her, once upon a time, was bad enough. I have no idea how deep his imagination can go.

Every concerned look that Flynn gave me during the ride home just fueled my anger. Why did he take his eyes off of her? Why did he help ME? The anger was misplaced, but I couldn't help but feel it.

It felt like when I was a young boy and my sister was taken from me. I had come home heartbroken, but my father taught me to just feel anger. Not just anger at those who took her from me, but at everyone. He taught me that anger could fuel me, and it is how I can move on.

I am not sure if he was trying to help me, because that is how he learned, or if he had something much more sinister in mind. I was angry enough for awhile. He was proud of my anger and my bloodlust for those who were not allies.

I was exhausted from the anger by the time that Annabelle had come into my life. I had given up pleasures that I once indulged in, such as fresh human blood, and young willing women. Despite my exhaustion, I was still angry. Annabelle did change something in me.

Not all Shifters and Werewolves were bad because she wasn't bad. I barely had to know her to realize that.

We reached the manor and Elizabeth came running outside. She looked as angry as I felt. "How could you lose her?!" She screamed. Despite her generality of the statement, I knew it was directed towards me.

"After that broadcast about love and togetherness you just went and LOST our greatest hope. SHE was going to change people's minds."

I could feel my heart sinking further. We had not only lost Annabelle, but maybe the war. Elizabeth was right. Without her, it would just look like she had been a pawn. Our words would seem ingenuine.

Everyone stood around looked dejected. Stanley looked just as angry as Elizabeth. Flynn looked devastated.

My eyes caught Rose's blonde hair and then her tear-streaked face. I had never seen Rose cry before, she had always seemed tougher than that. Rose stepped towards Flynn and me, distressed.

"Jace! I'm so sorry! One minute she was behind me and then she wasn't there... I didn't know what to do. I had to keep fighting. I thought you had her. I.."

My temper got the best of me, "Just shut up you stupid brat." I growled at her.

I regretted my choice of words as soon as I said to them, but I didn't have a chance to apologize. Flynn was quick to stand between me and the sobbing young wolf who had crumpled to the floor in tears.

Flynn got up in my face "Don't you DARE take this out on her. This is not her fault."

My irritation flared. "Maybe it is YOUR fault, why would you help me? You should have stayed with Annabelle!" I screamed in his face.

Flynn shoved my chest and I stumbled backwards.

I huffed and stalked back towards him.

"STOP! It's my fault. Just blame me! I'm useless. Please stop fighting. Please, just..." Rose called out, her voice broken, horse from crying.

My stomach churned. What was I doing? Yelling at my friends? Annabelle wouldn't want this. I have to be better... for her. As soon as she's gone I can't turn back to my old self. I have to be stronger than that.