When Nightmares Come True - BJYX

07

His eyes looked for the person in the mass of crowd. He was still panting after having to run a marathon. In the rowdiness of his  mind, he met those honey brown eyes. It gave him a sense of Deja Vu. He looked different out of his lab coat. The other person spotted him as well and Xiao Zhan immediately ran in his direction. 

"I'm sorry for being late." Xiao Zhan said catching his breath.

"It's alright, I wasn't waiting for long." He offered Xiao Zhan a napkin to wipe his sweat. Xiao Zhan was not the person who got late, he just lost the track of time like his mind lost track of his thoughts. 

"Shall we go?" He pointed at the direction of a restaurant famous for its hot pot. The two gentle  man entered in the private booth  of the restaurant. The waiter arrived to take their orders.

"You don't like spicy food?" Xiao Zhan asked when he noticed that the other person only ordered mild food.

"I can't say I do." He felt a little embarrassed admitting it. Even though they were not youngsters anymore, but it was a common misconception that the spicier the food, the manlier you are.

Xiao Zhan on the other hand only ordered Ice tea. 

"You don't have any appetite? " He asked and Xiao Zhan gave an awkward laugh.

"I just.. well.. I. " Xiao Zhan took a deep breath and replied again,

"I don't fell like eating." 

"Like ever?" He asked, clearly. 

"Ever! I'm pretty sure instant noodles flow through my veins." Xiao Zhan tried to joke but there was clear worry in other persons eyes. 

After an awkward silence, Xiao Zhan tried to break the ice. 

"I appreciate it that you agreed to meet with me outside, Hospitals.... trigger some bad memories." 

"I'm really sorry Mr. Zhan!"  He was about to say more when the waiter arrived with their food. 

After the waiter served their food,  The Doctor spoke again. 

"Mr. Zhan, From now on, I will be truly dedicating myself to you so, please allow me to enter your mind and treat me like your friend."

His tone was calm and assuring but the way he proposed it didn't settle well with Xiao Zhan and he said,

"If I treat you like my friend, I wouldn't be able to say anything." 

Sometimes it was easier to tell a stranger than a friend. They carry no bounds, no record of previous image, no fear of being judged.  

"My bad. Treat me however you like, but I would request if you could open your heart." 

Xiao Zhan was still somewhat hesitant to visit a Psychologist or to have any sort of treatment but after he received a call from his step father Lu Jian Min, he had to do something about his condition.  None of his step family members were aware of his CPTSD and he planned to keep it that way until he died. 

"Can I trust you really? " Xiao Zhan had asked this question countless times to countless people but they all betrayed their own words .Honestly, Xiao Zhan didn't even want to trust the person  in front him. 

But if Xiao Zhan had to open the torn chapters of his life, he would prefer to narrate them to someone pitiful like him.

"Mr. Zhan that is your decision to make." 

Having no other option Xiao Zhan could only nod. Deep down he still had his guard up but it was now or never. 

"Let me tell you a story of love."  Xiao Zhan begun to narrate.