Partners, Always [Book One] EDITING

{Chapter Two}

{Chapter Two}

"Appointment"

{Chicago PD: Bonus}

[Elena's POV]

My body shot up into a seated position, my skin covered in a veil of sweat as bloody and gruesome images from my past continued the flash through my mind, haunting me, even now when I was awake and trying to move past everything gruesome thing I've seen.

I remained seated for a few minutes as I struggled to return my breathing to a normal and calming rhythm. Once I was sure I wouldn't find myself having a panic attack, I peeled the sweat-soaked sheets from my skin and climbed out of the uncomfortable hotel bed. Fearing what would happen if I tried to go back to sleep.

My bare feet carefully guided me through the dimly lit hotel room, I checked my watch and saw I had woken up after only three and a half hours of sleep, thanks to the zero hours of sleep I got on the flight to Chicago, I was forced to have cheap hotel caffeine instead of waiting to get something better on my way to the doctor's office in five hours.

Pouring the cheap, burning hot liquid into a large mug, I settled down at the small dining table the hotel room offered me and I let out a small tired breath as I attempted to process the dream, one of the many pieces of lame advice I was given by a therapist Hotch forced me to speak to a few years ago after an unfortunate incident in the field; Dr. Wyatt said processing the dreams and figuring out what they meant might help me cope with the gruesome memories that continue to follow me from my time with the Rangers.

But it doesn't help, I'm still always stuck in a constant state of fear and hypervigilance, my senses permanently dialed to eleven, my mind still believing I'm stuck in Afghanistan or one of the other many places where I served a tour that left me with wounds that would never heal but scars that no one could see, let alone try to understand.

The only thing that has ever helped ease the consequences of fighting a war was living with Morgan who would pull me from my nightmares, knowing no sleep was better than torturous sleep, but talking to Jay and Mouse was the best thing because they are the only one who truly understands everything I'm going through because they were there for everything that continues to haunt me, even to this day.

Just the thought of Jay and Mouse relaxed my tensed and aching muscles and my thoughts began much clearer to understand. I smiled slightly and silently thanked whatever force brought me together with those two, allowed them to become my closest friends. My family.

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Hot water raced down my back washing away the soapy bubbles that remained after I scrubbed away all the sweat and grease that formed and clung to my skin during the night, leaving me a raw and clean canvas, minus the burns covering my right shoulders and the scars that had built up over the years of fighting one war or another.

I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a soft, thick towel around me and headed for the mirror, using my hand to remove the cloud of fog keeping me from staring at a reflection of someone that I couldn't recognize, it wasn't the same rebellious teenager who got caught being mischievous with her cousin before deciding to join the army.

Instead, the girl that looked back was tired, distraught, and pained by the world that had been utterly cruel to her, the pained army vet who couldn't get any more than a couple of hours of sleep at any given time without being haunting by images that would horrify most but just made her numb to cruelty over time.

"You can do this," I told myself, over and over again, trying to believe it to be true but it didn't stop the painful memories of my late teen years from coming back to me, memories I thought I had buried a long time ago but had come rushing back the second I got a life-changing... well, seemingly life-ending phonecall.

After hitting my knuckles against the old beaten front door of the house I called home just a few short weeks ago, I glanced over at Justin who was staring at the ground, his eyes brimming with tears now that reality had finally hit him, the both of us were being forced to come to terms with Camille's condition, she wasn't going to get better, she was only going to get worse until...

The door finally opened after a long minute and Hank came into view, heavy bags hanging under his tired eyes, his cheeks red and stained with tears, "Hey kiddos," He said roughly, his voice much rougher than it usually was, pain seeped into his voice also and he was making no attempt to hide it in front of us.

"Hey Hank," I said, embracing him gently, he was quick to hug me back and I could hear his breathing becoming uneven as tears threatening to take over, Justin avoided a hug and instead sent his father a sad smile as he looked over his shoulder and into the living room, "How is she?"

"As well as she can be," Hank replied painfully before leading us into the living room where Camille was sat on the couch, watching some random show on the old television across from her, I noticed Justin hesitate to come into the room, hovering in the doorway instead, watching his mother silently as tears threatened to spill from his eyes, I reached out and took his hand in mine, squeezing it reassuringly.

Pulling my jacket over my shoulders, I took in a nervous breath and made my way towards the door leading me out of my hotel room and into the hall. My phone began vibrating in my hand as I opened the door, I looked down at the device, sighing when I saw a text from Hank.

Hank: Just checking in to see how you've been. I haven't heard from you in a few days. Is everything okay?

Unsure of how to reply, I ignored the message completely. I knew Hank was going through a lot himself and didn't want to dump all of my stuff onto him as well. Not with what's going on with Lindsay. She's been spiraling ever since Nadia was killed and no one could get through to her, not even Jay who she had an on and off-again relationship with, even if it was just a no-strings-attached pain relief relationship.

I felt horrible when I left after the funeral but I wasn't able to stay in Chicago any longer because I was called back to work. I've tried staying in touch with her but she's been pushing me and almost everybody out and with everything now going on with me, I haven't been able to reach out as much as I'd like.

Taking in another long shaky breath, I tried to shake away the thought of my family and focused on getting to the doctor's office in one piece, a million scenarios running through my head about what was going to be said and the options I might have.

{Next on "Partners, Always"}

Elena is forced to deal with an unlikely future when she's faced with painful memories of her past. Halstead discovers his best friend and old partner is back in Chicago without saying anything and Hank deals with the fallout of Lindsay quitting and startling news Elena reveals.

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