Life Behind the Curtains: $old. (Shawn Mendes Fanfic)

Chapter 15

Shawn P.O.V.

I debate knocking a second time. The sound of faint sobs emitted from the bathroom door, but I couldn't do anything.

It's natural she wouldn't want to have a child with me. I mean who would?

She probably wanted to have a child with that guy Tyler. I know the way she looks at him. I recognize that look. It's the same way my mom used to look at my dad a few years ago.

Simply in love.

And that ticks me off. I don't know why, but it just hurts to see your wife (even if you don't love them) kissing someone else. 

But now I get the chance to break a rule. I should feel happy but I'm not.

My mind is focused on the girl locked in the bathroom. 

"Why'd you pressure me, I was going to tell her," I spoke angrily. His presence was not wanted. "You said you were going to tell her by the end of the week. Don't miss deadlines again," he says as he showed himself out.

As if I don't already have a lot on my mind. I fed Stormy and he ate peacefully, crawling in my lap as I sat down on the couch. 

"You seem to be getting bigger and bigger," I smiled, talking aloud. He closed his eyes as I stroked his fur. 

I hear the bathroom door open and I pick up Stormy, "Wait Amber." She turned to me, her eyes red and puffy from crying. She didn't stop or wait, but instead walked inside my bedroom and shut the door.

She wants to be alone. I understand that.

I check the time and put Stormy down, who naturally goes to Amber. It's 9 pm. I want to sleep. But I think I should work on my song a little bit.

I grab my other guitar from my room of awards, records, and equipment, and head to a spare bedroom for inspiration. 

Ideas always seem to come to me when I'm outside. 

I slide the glass door connected to the living room and step outside. I walk around the pool and sit on the hanging chair, overlooking the city.

It was noisy, but in a comforting way. The sounds of the cars, the people, and the environment was bustling with activity. The tall buildings had their lights on, still working. From this height, you couldn't see any people.

I held the guitar, but something wasn't right. A different melody appeared in my mind.

(Melody of Because I Had You) Tun tun tun tun tun tun tuun tun tannaanana na

Thought I knew just what I wanted
I didn't know myself at all

That's perfect. I hum the melody, and scenes from memory popped into mind. Amber and Tyler.

You're with somebody I can't be
But I can tell that you're happy

I groan, putting the guitar down. Why do I care? My heart is speaking to me through this song, but I don't understand.

I shouldn't care.

But I do. Because she's my wife. Not my real one, but still. Seeing someone who is supposedly loyal to you kiss someone else feels like a slap on the face to me. Clearly I'm doing something wrong.

I know what I'm doing wrong. It's just.. I thought it would be better to just be an asshole all together, but because of my moods, I've been on and off. Sometimes I would be nice and other times rude. 

Can I just be myself?

The person who bought her the kitten because she's upset? That was me. The real Shawn. The person who took her out to the diner? That was really me.