Marrying the Mafia

Pain or Paradise

Aria's POV:

     I get rushed into the medical wing of the villa. The doctor stopped the bleeding and bandaged my leg. I don't remember much after that because I fell asleep with the pain killers.

About 20 minutes after I fall asleep, Derek comes in waking me up. But I still pretend to be asleep. He sits on the edge of the bed. My back the opposite of him, he can see my face. 

"It's time to let you go. I can't be the one that keeps you here..." Derek whispers. He kisses my forehead and exits the room. What just happened? All because I denied him! I denied him because of Ryder! Derek and Ryder are like the same damn person! Both ruthless and cruel! He can't expect me to be ready! Ryder hurt me in ways beyond repair! I can't do anything about it!

After he leaves, I open my eyes. What am I going to do!? If I leave, not only will I feel unsafe, but my father can reach me easier. I can't do that! I can't give in! I'm not that girl that everyone takes advantage of! I have to fight him on it! I have to stay here, the people here have become my family! Everyone has my back! When I would sometimes be bored and want to watch a movie, people would join me and we'd just crack jokes the whole damn time! These people are my people! 

     I roll over and grab the phone I left on my dresser. It's almost 6 PM. I unlock the phone and open the 2 new messages I have. My father just texted that he'd be back for me and shit like that. Not if he doesn't know where I am. Trevor's dead, but that doesn't mean my aunt's dead. I'm in New York and she's in Florida. I can always hop a plane to her! But what about Derek and everyone here? I can't! This isn't fucking rational! I shut my eyes and try to sleep. But nothing works.

After being up for awhile, Derek comes back in. "I was just checking on you." Derek explains.

"Derek."

"Aria?"

"I heard you." I say sitting up.

"What? What do you mean?"

"When you came in before. I heard you. Just because I denied you, doesn't mean I don't want to be here." I explain shifting. Derek walks over and sits on the bed.

"Aria, that's not what it was. I'm tearing up the contract. I'm not holding you to it anymore! I thought you'd be happy?"

"I'm not. This place is my home now, damn it! These are my people, Derek! I can't tell you enough!"

"It's not safe here for you! Look at your damn leg! It's like you said, it's the second time you got shot this year! Even I caused you pain!" Derek exclaims standing up. I can see the sorrow in his eyes.

"Derek, you were drunk. I won't hold you to it."

"Aria! Ever since you came here, nothing but pain!"

    "Derek! Fucking listen to me! It's been paradise since I've been here! I haven't been judged or broken emotionally! I'd rather be broken physically than mentally!" I explain. It's true! Derek may have physically hurt me, but Ryder broke me beyond repair!

"You aren't hearing me! You're getting hurt in both ways! You just don't know it! Between Ryder and I, it's toxic for you to stay."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't handle!" Anger builds up in my system.

"It's not about what you can or can't handle, it's about what I can or can't handle!"

"What because I rejected you, you're kicking me out!"

"No! I can't stand to see you get hurt, damn it!"

"Derek, you're just saying that." I sigh.

"How many times have I saved your ass!? How many fucking times have I saved you Aria!?"

I hold my tongue. I wanted to just rage on him! Unleash everything! I don't love him in that way! If we wait and see, I might fall for him just as he fell for me!

"That's my point, Aria! I can't be the one responsible for you dying..."

"Derek! I won't die! I survived Ryder for years! He nearly beat me to death! Derek I know what I can and can't handle! And I'm telling you now, if I get hurt, it's always my fault. It's my body, I'm the one held responsible for it."

"Aria, I can't watch you get hurt! When you get shot, I feel like I got shot too! It's painful to watch you repeatedly put yourself in danger!"

     "I chose too!" I exclaim trying to stand up, but I fall immediately. Derek helps me stand by holding my arms.

"I can't live letting everyone win! It hurts to let everyone around you win, Derek!"

"I know that letting people win is painful, but you can't die over it!"

"Derek! It's not that easy! You came from money, so did I, but my childhood was shit! It was so shitty that I stole my parents credit cards and left! I moved out when I was 19! I moved in with Rowan and we lived shit lives together, getting near raped after the club, getting mugged on the streets when we came home from work... and only I got hit and mentally tortured."

Derek stands there baffled by my confession. He knew I had a rough adulthood, but he never knew about my childhood. 

"Aria... I had no idea."

"Derek, I let the muggers win. I let the rapists win, I let my mom beat me and win. I let everyone win."

"I didn't have a childhood, but I would rather have no childhood than go through that." Derek pulls me to chest. I want to cry so bad, but I refrain from doing so.

"See what I mean, if I leave here, I go back to worse."

"I guess I can try to arrange something." Derek says quietly.

"Thank you." I say looking up at Derek. He kisses my forehead and holds my head. I know he loves me, but I need time. After seeing Ryder, that changes everything...