the royals ✅

chap 5: alcohol and passing time

"You know my sister has always looked up to you, right?" Muhammad says, the glass in his hand shaking in his loose grip. He's had more then one drink- and she has too. I stare back at him with watery eyes- a side effect of all the alcohol I'd had. I don't know whether to take his words seriously or not. When he doesn't laugh, I realize he's serious. I chuckle slightly before sobering myself.

I take a breathe of the cool air, staring into the sky. To my surprise, I find that I can see the stars. In California, I never seem to be able to. The pollution clouds the air, forbidding me to see the true beauty of California. "If your sister looked up to me, she wouldn't have done that. She wouldn't have betrayed my trust, she wouldn't have hurt me, and she wouldn't have slept with him" I object, taking my own glass from the table and refilling it. 

For me, wine takes it. It's the only thing I ever drink. It's more classy to me, and even if it requires more to get drunk, I enjoy it. The slow process, for me, is better. I can savor my tipsiness, slowly drifting into my drunk self. "Things are often more then they seem" He quips, a small smile playing on his face. Muhammad is someone I've grown to respect over the years- and I have a different attitude around him. An attitude I can't explain. I don't hate him.

He blinks, his gorgeous eyelashes fluttering. I turn my head, refusing to meet his gaze. I don't have time to make drunken mistakes. And I know, that if I look at him, I will. Even a kiss could ruin everything. Adonis is enough for me. And I won't mess that up. "What is that supposed to mean?" I ask, raising an eyebrow and he hesitates, dropping his eyes to the floor. He doesn't seem to want to tell me. Or he knows he shouldn't. Whichever one. Using his lack of senses right now against him is my easiest hand. If I can push past his unwillingness, I'll finally know why Parker chose Blair. I'll finally know the truth behind the one thing that has haunted me every single waking fucking moment.

I push a little further, aware of the hand I've been given, "I've been in the dark for so long. I need to know why Parker's so upset all time. Please" I implore, and I'm begging now, my tone is slipping into desperation. I force myself to meet his eyes again. I can see the pity in them, and then, he breathes, settling on his chair. 

He finally opens his mouth, tipping the last bit of his glass back, "My father's oil company has been struggling for a few years now. He needed financial aid and Parker's father was able to help him out. In exchange, Parker's father wanted to bind the two families. He insisted that combining a shipping business would improve the speed of shipping of oil from place to place and how that would help us profit in the long-run" He pauses, and I stare at him, gape-mouthed.

She's still in shock when he begins to speak again,"So, Blair and Parker are meant to eventually end up together. So my father and his insisted they put up a front. Parker was to discontinue any contact with you as part of the agreement. Blair saw to that. She practically forced it. And Parker hated every second of it" He says, and I chuckle at these words. It's a dry, forced chuckle. To ease the tension in the air.

I'm glad he hated every second of it, but that doesn't mean anything to me. If he had truly cared, he would have texted, called, and that would have been enough for me. I understand that Parker will listen to his parents, and I respect that. I think about this past year- all my anger, all my hatred for him.  Keeping me in the dark was his only mistake. And now that was going to cost him everything. Except they had slept together. I blink. His explanation doesn't tie together. Parker did make a mistake. I can't excuse his actions just because they've been explained. Him hiding them from me is enough of a crime.

"They slept together," I point out, staring at him. I want the pieces to come together. I want closure.

Muhammad's gaze drops to the floor, "Parker didn't have the guts to tell you. But that wasn't the first time. Blair tells me that it was because Parker was scared of commitment- that he loved you, but he didn't know what the next step was. That he didn't know if he wanted to marry you, if he wanted kids with you-" Muhammad continues, and I raise my hand, cutting him off. His attachment issues are clear and I don't need to hear more. I know what decision he made. No matter how much it breaks my heart.