chap 34: you did this to yourself

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     She stares at the breakfast on the table, and her stomach turns at the thought of forcing the food down her stomach

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She stares at the breakfast on the table, and her stomach turns at the thought of forcing the food down her stomach. Lena had helped her slightly, but she still can't eat. After she had arrived at home last night, her mother had greeted her on the couch, upset and tired. She had given Alexis a fleeting look, filled with disappointment before she left. Alexis did not know what to think of it. She knows something is coming. It's clear. Both her parents have given up on her. And that could only mean something else was looming in the horizon.

 She forces the orange juice down her throat, keeping it down as her mother stares at her. Her mother and father converse in low tones, as if she cannot hear them. Something about her, something about this, something about that. She manages to tune them out for most of the day, lounging on the couch as she flicks through TV channels. She does not feel like going out. Her home is her safe haven. Nobody can touch, or disturb her here. Except her parents, of course.

"If you want to ask something, ask it" She says snidely as she stares at her mother, who raises her eyebrows slightly. She finally sighs, biting her lip as she speaks to Alexis.

"We are going to lunch this afternoon," She says, and Alexis's father settles beside her mother, looking at her silently "As a family. We have to talk to you"

 Her head is still bandaged, and Alexis feels a tiny bit of guilt. Until she remembers what she has been put through, and all her sympathy disappears. Her parents want to torture her again. As if one time was not enough. "Do we have to?" She asks, and she watches her mother glance at her father for support. He is silent for a few seconds. His expression is clear. He does not know what to do with her. Good. She has no idea what to do with herself either.

She is damaged goods. Something is wrong with her. Normal people don't self destruct. Normal people don't push everyone away.

"If you want money in your credit card account, yes, you do have to" Se replies, and Alexis snorts. Of course he would assume that money could buy her loyalty. As if. If she wanted to, she could easily procure money in a million illegal ways.

Everything is at the tip of her hand. She does not feel like approaching, or talking to her parents. At all. "No" She calmly replies, and she flicks the TV back on, staring at the screen. She can feel her parents concerned gazes on the side of her forehead and she wants nothing more but to gouge both their eyeballs out. She winces at the thought. "You can't control me with money," She whips her head sideways.

 She does not feel like dealing with people right now. Anybody. At all. She would rather be alone. But she doesn't have the energy to leave her house either.  The TV shuts off, and she glares at her father, who is holding a wire in his hand, sternly staring at her. This time, he leaves no room for argument in his tone. She knows better then to argue with. Her father is usually placid, but when he is upset, he isn't someone she wants to mess with.

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