Changeling: The Daughter of Fire (GxBxNB)

Changeling 29

"Having fun with Jesse?" Erika said, "I thought you were more the Kieran type." She winked.

"We were just talking."

"Uh-huh."

"I thought you were on team Kieran."

"I mean, I'm not necessarily against other teams," she smirked.

We got to breakfast and sat down with the others. Jesse was absent once again. Come to think of it, it'd never seen them at breakfast... or lunch for that matter.

"Does Jesse not eat breakfast?" I asked Erika.

Erika looked at me, biting her lip down. "Jesse... doesn't eat."

"They don't? Is that a changeling thing?"

She sighed, "It's an eating disorder thing... I try to get them to eat, but I know they purge after..."

"Oh damn..."

That conversation was tabled as Kieran came and sat next to me.

"Morning..." His cheeks were flushed bright red.

"Good morning."

"You sleep well?"

"Could've been better."

"Yeah... me too."

You could cut the tension between us with a knife, a few people noticed. We had things to talk about, but it just wasn't the place, what with everyone else around.

Breakfast was awkward with our feeble attempts at small talks only making it worse. After a few painfully uncomfortable exchanges we settled for silence. When we were done we got dressed for school, Kieran catching up to Erika and I outside our room.

"Erika, can I have a moment with Kieran?" I asked.

"Sure," she grinned.

"I'll see you in class?"

"Righto!" She finger gunned away, winking at me.

"She knows, doesn't she?" Kieran asked, looking at the corner she'd disappeared to.

"Yep. She kind of heard us."

He nodded, a short silence settling between us.

"So..." We both said at the same time.

"Oh, you got first," he said.

I took a deep breath, "I had a lot of fun last night... and I definitely don't regret what happened between us..." I was stalling. I closed my eyes, took another deep breath. "I'm going to be honest. I enjoy your company, I like you too..."

He cut me off. "But?"

"I don't know if this is the right time for me."

"Oh."

"I'm not saying no forever, but I just feel like I have to get my bearings and maybe we're rushing into it a little? It's only been a week and a half."

"It's okay... I get it."

"Until then, we can definitely be friends."

"I'd like that."

"Me too, and I'd like to get to know you more. So it's cool?"

"It's cool."

I gave him a hug and he returned it weakly.

"We should go before we're late."

"You're right. I'll see you later?"

He nodded before turning away. He went away a little too fast. I don't think he was as fine as he said he was... Had I broken his heart?

***

Over the next few days, I think Kieran was avoiding me. I mean he wasn't running away and hiding, but he insisted he was busy and had prior engagements. I just hoped he needed a little time away and I hadn't completely screwed it up between us...

As predicted by Jesse, the red queen had her dues on the weekend. I am not or have ever been the type to have a quick or light period. After getting my pad changed, I curled up in bed back again, my cramps getting the better of me.

When she woke up, I notified Erika who flushed and excused herself, leaving me to my suffering in quite a rush.

Not long later, a knock came at the door.

"Who is it?"

"Jesse."

"Come on in..."

They did, carrying a big box.

"I got a little care box." They put it down on my table, "pads and tampons, aspirin, an electric hot pad, vitamins, iron supplement, a whole lot of snacks and a thermos of cardamom coffee like you take it."

"I want to kiss you right now."

They brought their cheek closer and I kissed it.

"And here's my Netflix, Amazon, HBO, you name it, accounts."

"I love you so much right now."

"I'm just doing right by my girl, trans and non-binary pals." They smirked.

"Thanks."

"How are you?"

"I feel like I got stabbed in the uterus over and again."

"Ouch."

"Tell me about it."

"I'd offer to kiss it better, but that feels a little too much." They smirked.

"Maybe a little." I chuckled and then curled back up as another cramp manifested.

Jesse patted my hair and gave me the heating pad.

"Thank you... Erika kind of ran out on me..."

"Forgive her, but she gets very dysphoric when that subject is brought up, she'll probably be a little distant."

"I see."

"Anyway, want a buddy to binge watch some show? I can also get you ice cream, massage and attend to your every caprice." They winked.

"That'd be amazing, thank you."

"Only doing my best to "

Jesse stayed with me, watching some series online and making sure I was nice and pampered. I did notice Jesse staying clear of food and snack throughout the day, even as they brought me lunch. Maybe I should have mentioned it, but with Kieran and Erika avoiding me, I needed someone by my side.

Erika stayed away all day. It was only at bedtime that she came back, avoiding looking at me.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"So... Jesse told me you get dysphoric about the subject... Is there anything I can do to make you more comfortable?"

"I'll be fine... The dysphoria's one thing... I'm more worried about how I might act."

"Act?"

She looked away. "Right now... I'm really jealous of you... Like so damn upset... I don't want to be, but you get to have something I never will and for you it's just a painful annoyance..."

"Oh..."

"I know periods suck... But every time I hear about it, or women being pregnant I just get this crushing reminder that I'm not a real girl, that I'll never get to experience those..."

"I'm sorry," I came closer and hugged her, "But you are a real girl, all girls are different, some cis girls don't have those either."

She didn't answer.

"What if I could wish it to be different?" I asked.

"Can you?"

"I don't know, I've never done anything like that." Aside from creating fire, I'd mostly played with how events played out, could I just magically change someone like that? "But, if I could, I would."

She looked back down. "Thanks..."

I resolved myself to look it up, no matter what if I could help Erika, I would.