chapter fifteen

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laila's pov

I was finally allowed to exit the Jet so I made my way to the escalade waiting for me.

The nice bodyguard man took me to the small private airport and jesus christ it was fucking cold.

I was completely not prepared for this as I was just wearing leggings and a tee. I was also kinda paranoid that Matt would notice my sudden weight loss.

Once I entered the freezing building I saw all of my boys waiting for me. When they saw me, they ran up to me and engulfed me in a huge.

"Lay you're shaking." Matt said when all of the boys pulled out of the little hug.

"Can we not talk about this right now." I whispered.

He wrapped his arms around me and dragged me to the bus as the boys conversed.

When we got to the warm, homey bus, I was dragged to the back room and the door was pulled shut. Here we go.

"Lay, what happened. What's wrong. I thought you were getting better."

For the tenth time in maybe two days I completely broke down.

"Matt, I'm trying. I really am. I didn't want you worrying-" I cried.

"So you faked it." He said pulling me into a hug.

"I'm sorry Matt. I'm trying to get better but it's so hard."

"Shhhhh- were all here for you. You're gonna get better but everything takes time okay?" He said pulling me out of the hug and looking at me in the eyes.

"I know bubs, I know." I said wiping the tears off of my face.

"Ohhhhh Ciaran." I said opening the back door and trying my hardest to pretend I wasn't just bawling like a baby.

"Ohh Layyyyy. What's up." He said from the front of the bus.

"Can I steal a hoodie pleaseeee. Yours smell the best." I said with puppy dog eyes. I mean, I wasn't lying.

He threw one at me and for the little man he was, he threw that shit hard.

I took my shirt off and threw it in my backpack and then slipped into the hoodie Ciaran gave me.

I walked towards the front of the bus and he was on hk's phone.

I hit my pen and thankfully, a wave of hunger hit me.

"You hungry Lay?" He asked while putting the phone in my face.

"Si, tengo hambre." I responded.

"EVERYONE COMMENT PLACES WE SHOULD GO EAT." He yelled.

"Jesus fuck Ci, why you so loud for."

"Cause motherfuckers said I looked like the type to be mute."

"Ci, If I took a shot every time you've EVER talked in an interview, i'd be painfully fucking sober."

He mocked me before putting me in a chokehold.

"Mmm kinky." I laughed.

My comment caused all of the guys to erupt in laughter and cause Matt to give me a 'wtf' face.

"Lay what do you want to eat." Kiko asked.

"Whatever y'all want."

"Who wants burgers?" Kevin asked.

"Oooo I want fries. Wait- do they have ranch in Canada?"

"Why the fuck would you eat fries with ranch?" Ciaran said with an attitude.

"Shut up, you like mustard. Your opinions are irrelevant."

"So burgers?" Kiko asked.

Everyone agreed so they boys started looking for good burger places.

We got to our hotel and Ciaran insisted that I stay with him because he had a room to himself and Matt was sharing with Merlyn.

"Ciaran." I said while clapping my hands twice. "Get my bags sweet boy." I laughed.

"I am NOT your bitch."

"Pleaseeee." I said shooting puppy dog eyes for the second time tonight.

"Fineeeee." He said while rolling his eyes.

~

ciaran's pov

Everyone made it up to their room so Laila could get settled before we left to wherever we were going.

"You doing okay?" I asked while sitting next to her on one of the beds as she nervously played with her hands.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." She said looking up with an obviously fake smile.

"Do you really wanna go get food? I'll say in with you if you want."

"It's alright bear, we should just go. I need some fresh air anyways." She hesitantly said looking down at her hands again.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, lets go before it gets too late."

~

We went to a small diner, partly because that was the only thing open, and partly because we could walk there.

Around an hour and a half later, we finally got back to the hotel room.

Laila's been in the restroom for maybe thirty minutes, and the water on the tap has been running the whole time.

She eventually came out and collected all of the items she needed for her night routine.

I looked at her as she did this and she had tears welled up in her eyes.

I followed her to the bathroom and once she saw me, she just cried. Like hardcore, ugly cry. Of course she was far from ugly, even during this time, but you get what I mean.

I hugged her from behind and set my head on her shoulder while she stared at herself in the mirror with tears running down her face.

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me Ciaran." She cried before turning to hug me back.

"Lay, there's not one thing wrong with you. Everything you feel right now, is temporary. One day you won't feel like this anymore. Trust me Laila, trust me when I say that the way you feel right now is temporary and you're gonna be okay." I said stroking her hair.

"I don't even want to be here anymore. I don't even think i'm supposed to be here anymore. If I wasn't here, it's be so much easier. For me, for you, for Matthew. No one would have to worry about me. I wouldn't be a burden."

"Look at me Laila," I said pulling her out of my arms, "Look at me okay. I want you here, and i'm 100% fucking sure the rest of the boys do. We worry because we care about you. I care about you okay? It may feel like the pros out weigh the cons but I promise you they don't." She cried as I looked her in the eyes and told her all of this, "You wanna know another thing? You've become easily one of my favorite people. I could spend all day talking to you about nothing and I wouldn't get bored and i'm not just saying all of this to make you feel better. I'm a lot of things, but i'm not a liar. You make things brighter in my life. In all of our lives. Why do you think we practically begged you to come out here. It's not the same without you. I want you here. I do. Okay? Do you understand?"

"You're too good to me bear, you know that?" She weakly smiled as I wiped the tears from her face.

"You deserve it, you know that?"

waste // ciarán mcdonaldDove le storie prendono vita. Scoprilo ora