chapter nineteen

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laila's pov

For some reason the concert made me feel like i'm on top of the earth, but I kinda feel sick right now.

Maybe i'm just too high, maybe i'm not high enough. I really just don't know. I honestly think i'm having a calmed down anxiety attack but I honestly couldn't put my finger on why I felt the way I did.

Once I got in the bus with the boys I just laid down in my bunk and prayed this feeling would go away.

I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep. Finally, we got back to the hotel.

I was completely left alone so my mind had numbed out.

"Lay, come on lay." Ciaran said trying to get me out of the bunk.

I climbed out and the strong feeling came back as soon as I was met with bright lights and ruckus.

I frustratedly followed Ciaran to the room and once we got there I knew I needed to throw up. I rushed to the toilet and just threw up everything I had consumed that day. By the end I was just throwing up stomach acid.

He held my hair and gave me something I had in my bag for nausea. This wasn't usual but it's happened before so I always carried around nausea medication when I traveled. My doctors say it's anxiety, but it's so fucking random I don't know how to explain it.

I got into the shower and did my routine quickly so I could just get out and lay down.

Ciaran got in the shower and once I was laying there alone I couldn't help but cry. Why the fuck do I feel this way.

I then felt someone pull me in and I turn to see Ciaran.

He pulled me into a hug and just hugged me until I fell asleep.

~

ciaran's pov

I woke up and we were tangled together as usual.

Her face was puffy but she still looked super fucking cute.

My feelings for her made me kinda mad because out of anyone I could've caught feelings for, it's Matt's fucking sister.

Today we were heading to New York City. I packed together all of my things after struggling to get out of bed.

I got together Laila's things and put them in her suitcase. I then gently woke her up because I didn't know how she was going to feel after yesterday.

"Morning bear." She weakly smiled. You could tell she was trying to be positive despite her actual feelings.

"You feeling okay Lay?"

"Honestly, not really. Hopefully this feeling goes away. But that's all I can really do, is hope." She said getting out of bed and going to the restroom to brush her teeth and wash her face.

"You ready?" She asked walking out of the restroom.

"Yes ma'am." I said grabbing my suit case and my backpack. She did the same and leaded me out of the room.

I held her in the elevator just cause and once we got to the first floor the boys were waiting outside of the elevator.

We smoked in the parking lot but you could tell she was out of it.

"Ciaran, ya know i'm really thankful for you." She said with red eyes.

"Aw shut up you're gonna make me blush." I said lightly punching her arm. She laughed at my gesture and got on the bus.

"Hey guys lets watch a movie, well whoever wants to." Ian said walking to the back.

"What movie?" I yelled.

"Uhhhhhh, probably Lights Out."

"Yeah have fun with that one." Laila said turning around and heading to the front of the bus where the creative team was.

She hated scary movies with a passion. Mostly cause she didn't like to look like a pussy cause she was scared.

"Come on Lay, It'll be okayyyyy." I said practically begging her to come with me.

"No Ciaran, I will pee myself and It'll be on you." She said sarcastically.

"There's a shower right there." I said pointing to the restroom.

"You are not funny sir." She said sternly.

"Pleaseeeee." I said pouting.

"Fine Ciaran. F. I. N. E." She rolled her eyes.

I grabbed her hand and led her to the back of the bus where the guys saved us a spot. She sat in the corner and shifted herself so she could put her legs over my lap.

They started the movie and I glanced at her to find her hands over her eyes. I grabbed one of her hands and held played with in in my lap to keep her from covering her eyes.

~

laila's pov

In all honestly, I'm not even upset anymore, I'm just super high and I'm so fucking horny the last thing I want to be doing is watching this fucking movie, but for some reason I can't say no to this fucking boy.

Like what's my fucking problem?!?!!!

Him playing with my hands and caressing my legs wasn't helping either.

This was the worst fucking environment to be horny in because there's nothing I can do about it.

The movie finally ended.

That was the most painful hour and a half I had to endure and to top it off I was probably gonna be scared of the dark for a good fucking week.

I got up from the back as the boys were talking about the film we just watched and went to see the creative team in the front.

"Ohhhhh hkkkkkk." I said sneaking up on him.

"Whatcha doin'?" I asked.

"Eh just ginger stuff." He sighed, "How was the movie?"

"Fucking horrible. There's this scary bitch terrorizing this fucking house. She like turns the lights out and then like fucks with these kids. Oh my god it was awful. Then they had to kill the fucking Mom cause it turns out it was her demon or something." I said before being flung across the cabin as the bus came to a halt.

"What the fuck." I said rubbing my ass that just smacked the ground.

"Pit stop probably." Kevin said giving me a hand.

The boys rushed out of the back to get food from the gas station we were stopped at.

I decided to just take a nap and pray my horny-ness went away. If I avoided Ciaran for a couple of hours maybe it'll go away and I'll wake up normal.

waste // ciarán mcdonaldWhere stories live. Discover now