chapter thirty five

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ciaran's pov

Fuck I think i'm in love with this girl.

I looked at the photos in awe while editing them a bit. Just a lil filter for aesthetic purposes.

She's just so breathtaking to look at, to even be around. Whenever I look at her I just know I need to spend the rest of my life with her. What if she doesn't feel the same though? What if she thinks this is just a chapter in her life and I don't belong in the next one? Jesus what the fuck is wrong with me?

"You okay Ci?" She asked, snapping me out of my sad gaze.

"Yeah I'm chillin. Did you want me to tag you?"

"I'm comfortable with it but if you're not I understand. Really Ci, are you sure you're okay?" She asked concerned.

"Can we talk about it later? I don't really wanna have this convo in front of everyone." I asked.

"Of course Ci." She said placing her hand on mine and rubbing her thumb in circles.

"Is it bad?" She questioned while looking up at me, I could tell I just made her nervous.

"No Lay, it's okay I promise."

I kissed her forehead and posted the photos on my main insta and tagged her beautiful self of course.

You're such a fucking simp Ciaran.

~

laila's pov

The fact that Ciaran wanted to talk later makes me deadass wanna die. Maybe he just doesn't wanna be with you.

My own thoughts hurt me the most sometimes. Anyways. I'm trying to keep the aura up cause it's a big show so I ignore my feelings and just try to be a good time. Plus he said it's not a big deal so i'm sure i'm just over reacting.

"Ahhh look the infamous bathroom." I laughed pointing at the bathroom me and Ciaran found ourselves in at sound check yesterday. We both chuckled and plopped down on the couch in the green room.

"Lay where are your shoes?" Nick asked looking around.

"Over there I think." I said pointing at the dark green suit case.

"So I was thinking, this would look fire as fuck. He pulled out a pair of my Travis Air Force ones and a some unreleased brockhampton shirt that matched perfectly. I honestly didn't feel the need to even overthink an outfit so I agreed and he set my clothes aside, now focusing on the boys.

For some reason Ciaran looked ill. Like physically ill.

"Come on Ci, you mean too much to me for me to just sit here and watch you be like this." I pulled him off the couch and took him into some random empty ass hallway.

"Can we please talk now Ciaran. What's wrong. I hate seeing you like this and you have a huge show, you shouldn't be worrying about anything but that-"

I was cut off when his lips met mine for a soft kiss.

"Talk to me please, I'm begging." I looked up at him.

"Do you really like me?" He asked.

"Ciaran really." I said looking at him kinda annoyed that he made me wait for this.

"Seriously, do you really like me?" He questioned, "Cause I really like you and I think about you all the fucking time. And I know you said you didn't want things to change between us but you bring this completely different person out me. I know we've went on a couple of dates and I honestly don't even know where i'm going with this." He rambled.

waste // ciarán mcdonaldWhere stories live. Discover now