❝It's time to let love overwhelm me.❞
Dark Brown hair, a cute face, and eyes that pierce through your heart. Ivan John Anderson had it all. Except love. He always felt that a part of him was missing, a void that nothing or no one can ever fill.
Haze...
toska. (n.)a dull ache of the soul, a sick pinning, a spiritual anguish.
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"How did it go?"
It was almost 8PM when we all arrived home. Justin and I had a long talk, and I can't help but worry about him. He wasn't his usual self. Something was really off, he didn't insult me nor was there any witty comeback. The worst thing was that he hugged me. Yeah that shit scared the shit out of me. The last time we hugged was when- I don't think so we ever hugged. Are siblings even suppose to hug?
Ivan cleared his throat, leaning forward, curiosity flaring in his green eyes.
"Something is really wrong. He isn't behaving Justin like." I said truthfully, my eyebrows knitting in worry.
Without a warning two arms slipped around of waist, engulfing me in a hug.
What's with people and hugs today?
But his hug felt so much more inviting and warm. I am not saying Justin's hug wasn't, that was just awkward. But this felt different. The good kind of different. How our body fitted perfectly like two missing pieces of puzzle, yearning for each other's touch for years, were now finally conjoined together.
I was so engrossed in the hug that I didn't notice that Ivan had picked me up and was rocking us back and forth whispering sweet nothings into my ear. I also didn't notice the wet tears rolling down my face.
"I was ten when my mother left us." I said with a heavy heart. Both his hands cupped my face tenderly, his thumbs caressing my cheeks. "Left as in..." Ivan started but Then, suddenly closed his mouth. I was quick to understand him and hurriedly cleared the things.
"No left as in, like- like she died-" My words started failing me as I began to sob. Ivan rubbed my back, constantly pecking my forehead trying to console me.
"She could never leave us just like that. I was the one who made her leave us. I was the one w-who killed her."
The knot in my stomach was tugging and hurting like hell. Opening old scars was something dangerous, painful and yet necessary.
"Are you okay cupcake?" Ivan whispered rubbing my tears away from his thumb.
"I think so." I lied. I was far from okay, but to put my current feelings in words would be practically impossible.
I wiped my nose on the back of my hand, sniffing and clinging closer to him. He started rubbing my back soothingly, his fingers running through my thick hazel hair.
By now my breaths were coming in short pants, and I was shivering under his firm hold. I stared into his green eyes falling into its depth and losing myself in them.
"Ivan?" I whispered. I guess I owe him an explanation. "You don't have to tell me cupcake. It's alright."
"I know I don't have to but right now I really want to. For years I wanted to talk about it, I want to let it all out. I was just looking for the right person to talk to and I think you are the one." I stated the truth, my arms tightening around his bulky shoulders, composing myself.
