❝It's time to let love overwhelm me.❞
Dark Brown hair, a cute face, and eyes that pierce through your heart. Ivan John Anderson had it all. Except love. He always felt that a part of him was missing, a void that nothing or no one can ever fill.
Haze...
younderly. (adj.) mentally or emotionally distant ; absent minded.
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"You guys do know this is my house right?" I muttered looking around my house. The boys had made themselves comfortable on the couch, playing video games and their mouth full of the apple pie I made. Disgusting.
The boys, not the pie of course.
"Cupcake this pie is amazing." praised Dylan excitedly trying to sound like Ivan, "I could just kiss you right now." he leaned forward puckering his lips but Ivan pushed him back immediately.
"Dude I just told you all she's my girlfriend, back off." A very annoyed Ivan exclaimed.
"Can't help it bro, she's too perfect." Dylan replied turning towards him, "I'm so much better than him in bed, leave him baby I'll make you so happy- let's make out." he leaned forward again with his puckered lips. In a split second Ivan reached over and smacked the back of his head.
"The pie is amazing Hazel, and as for who's better in bed everyone knows it's me." Ryder winks at me and my eyes widen a little. It's the first time I've seen this less restrained, playful version of him otherwise he always keeps it to himself.
"Will you all stop flirting with my girlfriend?" Ivan grunted obviously annoyed. I fought to keep the grin off my face as Ivan acknowledged me as his girlfriend.
I looked over at Mark who was sitting beside Ivan with a frown, "You won't compliment my pie?" I asked trying to fake a pout and took the seat beside him.
"It's perfect." Mark smiled at me but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes. I don't know if the guys noticed but something was obviously troubling Mark.
"Hey everything okay?" I leaned down whispering in his ears. He looks at me and shakes it head.
I didn't want to ask him what's wrong in front of the guys so I picked up my phone, going into my notes I wrote the question down.
"What's wrong? Do you wanna talk about it?"
I hold my phone up discreetly and he reads it. A shadow of guilt darkens his eyes as he runs his hand through his dark brown locks of hair. He hesitates, opening his mouth then closing it and shaking his head in confusion.
"Later." He slowly whispers after a minute. I silently nod and turn around not wanting to pressurize him. __
"Hey." I look up from my phone as I saw Mark entering my room. After talking with the guys a bit, I came into my room to text Sia who by the way is over the moon because of how well Sam is treating her.
Mark walks closer to my bed, then proceeds to sit down and bite his lip. Looking up at me he smiles awkwardly as starts bouncing his legs up and down, a clear indication that he's nervous.
"I-" a humour less chuckle left his mouth, "I have no idea why I'm telling you this. Maybe because you don't know me so well. Or maybe because you seem cool or maybe I wouldn't really care if you judged me." he shakes his head in disbelief.
"Yeah well I'm here if you wanna talk about something, and it's okay if you don't I'll still be here. And I wont judge or pity you." I offer him a smile.
"Thanks, you're cool. I-" he begins but his voice cracks at the end. I raise my eyebrows in confusion as he sucks in a deep breath of air through his nostrils, "I think I'm gay."
My eyes widen in surprise not expecting that, "Oh okay. That's cool." I really need to take classes on how to improve my communication skills.
I suck at this. That's cool? Say something else fuck Hazel.
"I mean I never really found guys attractive, sure I didn't date any girls too but I just thought that was because I'm nerdy. But now there's this guy-," he paused as his cheeks begin to turn a pink shade.
"There's this guy, he makes me feel. Things." he trails off again as he blushes more, "Feelings, you know what I'm talking about right?"
I try my best not to smile at how cute he was being, and I loved that he was as awkward as me. "I get it." I did feel the same when I started developing feelings for Ivan. Though it was an adorable stage, the nervousness and anxiety were hard to deal with.
"So yeah we met a few days ago and we were talking and he made me feel nervous and happy both at the same time but then he suddenly kissed me out of nowhere and I didn't know how to react so I just panicked and left." I could hear the guilt and regret in his voice.
"Look it's okay. You were confused, shocked, taken back. This is a huge thing and it's fine if you panicked. It's pretty normal."
"Really? Because right now I feel really stupid. What if he's hurt? What if he has someone else now? What if he ignores me? What if I've messed this whole thing up. I don't wanna loose him he's a really great person and a good friend. God I don't know I'm loosing my mind." Mark jumps out of the bed and starts walking around, he runs a frustrated hand through his hair but midway he clenches harshly onto the strands and pulls them with a low scream.
Please don't laugh Hazel.
"I think you know what to do." I look up at him, giving him a soft encouraging smile. I have no idea what he wants to do or if he even knows what he wants but neither do I, so that's the best advice I could give him.
I'm so pathetic.
"Yeah, yeah I know what to do." That's the last thing he said before he sprinted out of my room.
I really hope he knows what to do.
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A/N- Okay I'm so sorry for the Little late update, i was busy with a few family things plus my exams are in like 10 days and I haven't studied shit sooo :) I hope y'all like this chapter even though it's just a filler. Do share your thoughts <3
