CHAOS | Chanbaek +18

XXIII

It's been almost a month since last time Baekhyun saw or talked with Chanyeol. 

When the morning came after the night when Chanyeol told Baekhyun every bad thing about their relationship, Chanyeol left without too many words, especially for the couple, but he managed to say goodbye to the younger. A painful one, the kind that makes you want to fall down on your knees and beg each other to get back together. The kind of goodbye that makes your heart break in pieces that, only moments later, will break in pieces even smaller than the originals and so on, feeling like you'd be ready to roll yourself on those pieces that, just like small shards of glass would cut out your skin and yet, the pain of so many wounds opening at the same time won't be enough to compare with the one the men were feeling in that moment.

Yet, they managed to show only slight smiles as they shared simple goodbyes, even if from the look into each other's eyes they could feel the same pain, understanding that both of them wished they could do more, even now. 

But Chanyeol was clear last night.

He wasn't there to take Baekhyun back nor to hurt him in any way. 

He was there to see with his eyes if Baekhyun was real, alive and most importantly, safe. And he was there only to apologise, even if he learnt later that apologising to him for everything he did, meant that he had to remind the younger every single thing. He wasn't there to tell Baekhyun about every good moment that happened between them, even if the younger wished he would do that. He thought that telling Baekhyun about the bright sides of the hell they've been living together for the past two years would give the younger reasons to want to come back and this wasn't his intention. That, because now, after so many years of being alive on this earth, he was afraid of hurting someone...twice.

However, the version of Baekhyun he found a few weeks ago wasn't the one he used to court or to have in bed every night. Or to use for his own carnal pleasure in the name of "love". This Baekhyun wasn't the soft, too kind version of the young man he almost married. His soft chuckles that used to make the tension disappear in the past couldn't be heard anymore. He wasn't the polite boy anymore, who used to act like a young prince, too fragile to become a king yet. He wasn't stuttering anymore, he wasn't saying sorry every 5 minutes, even if it wasn't his fault and most importantly, he wasn't afraid anymore...but he wasn't happy even. In the change of all of these, the Baekhyun he found was...serious, mature and even when the morning came, the sinful image of Baekhyun dressed all black, moving his body shamelessly on that dance floor, was nothing to compare with the old, pure look Chanyeol was used to. His reactions were full of anger, he wasn't quiet anymore. He was making sure people listen and understand his point, not being afraid of talking anymore. This was another version of Baekhyun. Not a new one, but the one Chanyeol was always afraid of. 

And so was the rest of the world every time this Chaos would make its appearance in their lives. 

Of course, if it was possible, Chanyeol would want to take Baekhyun back with him without waiting for another second. In the man's head, this scenario happened so many times months ago that he lost the number of countries where he'd run away with his fiance, away from all of these. But months ago, Baekhyun was dead. Months ago, he was breaking down in a hospital bed where the younger used to lay down for so long that no one thought he'll ever make it out from there. Months ago, he started to change himself. He got the help he needed when no one offered once again to teach him how to be human, so no one else would suffer as his Baekhyun did. He realized that being a monster bring him nothing but the death of his lover, the only one who could give him his heart without any second thought. 

Baekhyun wanted to love him so much. And he did, thinking that one day, his love will melt the frozen heart of the taller one or that the fire of his love will light up the dark room inside of it. Of course, he wasn't stupid. He knew that Chanyeol was unable to love, unable to show compassion to the people around him, even to the ones he was sharing the life with. Even to the ones who have always been there, through thick and thin, like Baekhyun did. And no expensive gift nor fancy dinners could compare with the rare, almost too hard to notice smiles the man would show every time Baekhyun would make something silly meant to make the other one give him some attention after a hectic week at work and, a way too short amount of time spent at home. 

"Here! You can open your eyes now!", Baekhyun chirps after placing the paper box in Chanyeol's big palms. When the man opened his eyes, he could only frown, looking at the small box made of paster paper and glitter with a pink ribbon on top, and a note with his name attached to it. Then, he looked up to Baekhyun, who was now getting on his knees in front of the man who was sitting down on the edge of the bed, nuzzling his puffy cheek against his leg like a puppy. 

"What is it, pup?" , Chanyeol asked, slowly shaking the box in his hand just to hear a slight sound, like something was moving inside. 

"Well, daddy was busy with work...So I decided to make something pretty for him." , Baekhyun explained with his soft voice, resting his chin on the man's thigh, waiting for him to open the box. He knew that Chanyeol never liked receiving gifts and usually, nothing would satisfy him but he still wanted to try. So, with big, puppy eyes he watched the opening the box, that turned out to be one of those exploding boxes they've seen on the internet. But this one was different. Cause Baekhyun's small, perfect hands made it. And it was so colourful inside, every wall having a different colour and a different message or a small picture with them, printed from the smaller's phone. Chanyeol never liked taking pictures either but even with that, Baekhyun's phone was full of his face cause not even the taller could say no to such an obedient pup, to such an angel like Baekhyun was.

He carefully opened every box inside, looking at every paper wall until he got to the last one, being almost smaller than his thumb. He took a quick look at the smaller one before opening the small box, the moment when a smile finally appeared on his face, his eyes locked on the nice pieces of jewellery inside, the ones that were making the slight sound earlier. 

"I wanted to give you something... since you can't wear your ring at work, remember? So this is better, right daddy?", Baekhyun asked, eyes shining like the reflection of the light on the silver necklaces with their initials on. Chanyeol looked at his small fiance, who was waiting for an answer then back to the C&B attached to the necklaces and nodded his head slowly, running his long fingers through his soft hair. 

"It is better, baby..."

For Chanyeol, Baekhyun was the human version of a labyrinth and he got to learn every tunnel, every corner of it and now, he was out. And even if most people preferred this way, instead of always being lost in this kind of labyrinth, he wanted to get back. Because for Chanyeol, Baekhyun was everything.

And for Baekhyun, Chanyeol was a stranger who offered him a ring.