Violets Are Blue

Chapter 9

Violet Ankamah's POV.

"Fuck me, I am going to kill Te'Ariya!" I mutter under my breath.

We went out to drink on Friday.

So tell me why I am still feeling the fucking effects on a Monday morning?!

The only upside, is that since Friday, I haven't had any more encounters with Orion fucking Miller.

I don't remember much of Friday, but from what I do remember, we had a...

Heated encounter.

Soon after that, I found my friends and I asked to go home, blaming it on tiredness.

A knock on the door, snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Come in" I say.

Kayla walks into the room.

She has a coffee in hand and she walks up to my desk, setting it down.

I look at her with a raised brow in question.

"What is this about?" I ask her.

"You look like you need it" she says softly, trying to act brave.

I take the coffee and I bring it to my lips, taking a sip.

"Thank you Miss Thomás" I say to her.

She nods.

Then she shakes her head.

"When will you stop calling me that?" she asks in a soft tone.

I look at her, setting the coffee down.

"Calling you what? Your name?" I ask her, incredulously.

She sighs.

"You know what I mean... Can you just use my first name?" she asks, dolefully.

I roll my eyes.

I am in a bad mood and this girl is going to bring out sides of me that my mother doesn't even know exist.

"Let's put something into perspective." I tell my secretary, making my fingers clasp, instead of steeple.

I'm pissed.

"As I have said to you before, we are not friends anymore, because..." I shrug nonchalantly.

"You know why" I clip.

"You are my employee. And due to the fact that we are no longer friends, I will no longer treat you like one of my friends. You are my secretary. Your name is Kayla Thomás, and I will address you how I please, within reason and while being respectful." I tell her.

"Because despite you treating my emotions as less than human, Miss Thomás, I have decided to treat you like a human, despite the fact that I despise what you and my ex- fiancé did to me." I say.

There is a pause as she avoids eye contact and I don't even bother to tell her to look at me.

"You are in no position to tell me what I should call you in the work place. And I don't even want to look at you outside of the workplace, so that is nothing for you to worry about" I tell her.

She nods, defeated.

"Now get out. As I recall, you have a mountain of work to be getting on with. No?" I ask.

She nods and she walks out of my office, closing the door after her.

We hardly interact for the rest of the working day.

I couldn't care less though.

My new bed is being installed today, so I am quite excited.

I requested that old one can be washed thoroughly and then given to charity. The frame and everything.

I might as well redecorate the room too. Make it more me.

Because God knows that man is not coming back.

At the end of the day, I walk out of my office, locking the door and saying goodnight to Kayla.

I walk up to my car, drained and I sit inside, leaning back in the chair.

I lay my head on the headrest and all of a sudden, I feel myself come down, from what feels like a week-long high.

All of my emotions come rushing out at once and for the first time since I caught Kayla and Zahair in my room... in my bed... I cry.

I feel tears streak down my face.

Tears of anger.

Tears of pain.

Tears of betrayal and tears of complete and utter rejection.

Was I not good enough for him?

Did I not give him enough love?... Attention?

What did I do wrong?

The tears don't stop.

I cry and I cry, until my chest hurts, and I feel them turn into sobs.

Am I so unlovable that a man I have loved for so long, will leave me at the bat of an eyelash?

I feel weak.

I haven't felt this kind of pain in 17 years.

I suddenly stop crying, blowing my nose into a tissue and then pocketing it.

I start the car and I drive myself home, silently.

My head aches from the crying and my skin is dry from the tears.

I get home and I step out of my car and I move to my house, letting myself inside and locking the door behind me.

I kick off my shoes and I drop my bag in a heap.

I go into the bathroom and I look at myself.

Fuck.

My eyes are red and swollen.

My skin looks paler and my nose is runny.

I open the tap and I splash water into my face, not caring that it gets on my sleeves and uniform.

I make myself a short meal and then I straight to bed.

I'm not going to work tomorrow.

This state will put my patients at risk.

I will call Doctor Millan, and I will tell him to hold fort, while I am away. I will then email Kayla some instructions.

I strip out of my uniform and I drop it on the floor, rather than folding it away.

I lay in my new bed, sinking into the soft new mattress and the new sheets.

I drape my arm over my eyes, exhausted and I feel myself fall deep into sleep.

Tomorrow, I will think about myself for once.

No going out to clubs.

No excessive working to distract myself.

Just time to myself.

By myself.

I need to do this.

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Hey all!

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~ Xo.