Blue Star Reviews [CLOSED]

Path Of Love

Author : lost_soul7201

Reviewer: sapphiresnow_

Chapter : 7 (including prologue) + 1 (character sketch)

Note : I may sound rude and harsh, but I'm being honest here. I don't have any grudges towards you or your book so don't feel offended.

-cover-

Unattractive! Very very unattractive! The pictures and background didn't blended well with each other. The fonts doesn't suit with cover. In fact, it's making the cover looks more messy.

I would suggest you take some graphic designer help to make a good cover for your book. A good cover can attract readers to your book.

- title -

Sorry, it's too early to judge to the title. So, I'm skipping this one.

- description -

Starting the description with a quote is definitely a good idea.

I love the way you structured the whole description, it's something that actually attracted me towards your book. Because after seeing cover, I wasn't much interested to read the story.

But description somehow made interested to read this book. So, well done.

- plot -

The plot revolves around Manik, Nandini and Aryaman. Manik and Nandini are happily married and have a daughter Avni who's three years old. There's a past due to which Manik and Aryaman doesn't behave like brothers anymore.

On the other hand, Soha who is obsessed with Manik is now trying to be break them; Manik and Nandini apart. For that, her father is helping her by fixing her relationship with Aryaman.

That's what I found reading so far. I wouldn't say a great plot or something unique to read. Because there's nothing like that.

Moreover, it's too early to judge the plot so let's see what you have planned for the story in upcoming chapters.

- storyline -

Prologue and description are same. So, there's no point rereading it. So, I started to read the story from first chapter.

I have few expectations from your story after reading the blurb. But to be frank, I was disappointed very badly in the first chapter only.

There were few places where I was confused.

Like, where was Avni actually sleeping?

See, I didn't get that part. I had reread the chapter again and again to understand what's actually happening even I checked once more before writing this part of review.

Don't tell me Manik and Nandini made love in front of a three years old kid? Because what I understood reading the chapter, that Avni didn't entered the room. She's there beforehead only.

She's sleeping in the room only, so I didn't understand the scene properly.

Description matters most in a story which highly lacked here. Manik and Nandini made love, they were sleeping hugging each other and their daughter is beside them in the room only. Because he run to his daughter as soon as he heard her cries. I found the scene little awkward.

Second question, what's actually Nandini's character?

Her baby was crying, she was busy sleeping ignoring her baby. Even though Manik went still as a mother she didn't even cared to see her daughter once. But when Manik tried to wake her up and was crying in front of her, she was more focused on Manik than her child. Okay, I rolled my eyes at her act there.

Third question, how could a three years old could speak so fluent?

Again, another mistake here. Avni is three years kid not six or seven who can speak fluently. Even if it's written in English then also there's a way to show that she's still learning to speak. Like wrong pronounciation and misspelling.

Sceondly, even if I think she's quick learner and surely Manik and Nandini are not to much modest in front of their three years old kid like most of parents.

Fourth question, where's Avni after Aryaman drama?

She's not with Manik Nandini (because Nandini was busy in seducing her husband). She's not even with her grandparents also but she came in next chapter that crying again. Is there's any water tank in their eyes? Why everyone need to cry on everything?

See, there are many things I didn't liked in this story. Mostly because of lack of description and proper scene. It may be good story for Manan fandom. But I'm not from Manan fandom.

Even I didn't knew who are Manan until I came Wattpad. But in general, I didn't liked the story much. Manik and Nandini not needed to have romance every time they talk or crying-consoling session. There's something called meaningful talk between husband-wife, which is missing in Manik and Nandini relationship.

- grammar -

There are few grammatical mistakes which can be polished by little proof reading. Sentence construction can be improved a little more.

A few things you have repeated. Like, you don't need to mention Avni's voice is cute or she talks cutely in most dialogue of her.

You have written Manan in a scene, avoid writing short forms in a story. Also, try to describe the clothes rather than adding a picture, it would make the book look more better.

- payment -

A permanent follow and read  five chapters of my book, "An unexpected ride with future bride". Write a 3-5 lines review at the end of chapter.

- note -

(This isn't only for the author but to others also who might chose me as reviewer in future)

Pay me only if you feel my review is helpful. If you're didn't like my review or not satisfied with it then don't need pay me. I don't write reviews to satisfy anyone. I write what I genuinely feel about the story.

It can be rude and harsh to you, but I'm being honest. So, I'm not sorry. But you're free to make a choice to pay me or not to pay me. I wouldn't mind. But I would mind, if you behave like a spoil brat and show me your so called arrogance and attitude.

I'm not talking anyone name here because of my professionalism. But I have seen people who doesn't pay after getting review or pay half. They even unfollow the review after following (just to show off) if they're not satisfied with the review.

I may not be a good review as my fellow reviewers of this club. But I have also seen how people asked for reviews from my fellow reviewers. Some of them even nagged about the review from time to time and then boom. They don't even take time respond the reviewer. Guys, it's not easy to review.

It takes time to read a book then write a review. So, learn to appreciate people for their efforts.

≿————-　❈　————-≾
Hopefully, the review was helpful  :)

Thank you for giving Blue Star Reviews and your reviewer, a chance.

Would love to see you again💙
≿————-　❈　————-≾