Blue Star Reviews [CLOSED]

Beyond Broken

Author : Psr1403

Reviewer : _Frozen-Olaf

COVER :

The cover is good but I think it can be better. The word 'Broken' from the title 'Beyond Broken' is not at all clear in the main cover of the book although its clear in the cover picture that you have posted in the prologue chapter. Plus it looks a bit congested as well. So I would suggest that you change the cover.

TITLE/BLURB :

Title, according to me, is perfect and well-suited to your story.

The blurb is okay, but the formation of blurb could be more better. It's little confusing because the way It's structured. Rather than him and her, you could have use their name and a little more detailed description about their life. It would be more good to read.

STORYLINE/PLOT :

I liked the plot of the story. A plot that deals with human trafficking. Then the characters of the story:

Naina's strong and Sameer's humble character, I liked it.

Then the way Naina use to do her investigation, her little group - I liked that too.

This story's plot is a good one.

CREATIVITY :

In the sense of the story creativity, I think you did good.

But I believe creativity is not just about how you make your story creative and unique but also about how you present it.

You need to work on your presentation, make it more creative.

Most of the times there was no space left between two paragraphs. Leaving a line between two paragraphs will make your work look neat. Also a good presentation is always beneficial and will only do good to your story.

GRAMMER :

This book needs editing and you also need to work on sentence construction. Third POV is fine but sentence construction is wrong.

Like, it should be -

Looking at the sky closing her eyes

But it was - she looks at the sky.. Its like you're reciting something but if that's the case then also it should be 'looked' (past tense) instead of 'looks'.

There are places where you have used 'has' and 'had' together which is wrong. Reading this story feels like I reading a written update of a show whereas it is meant to be a book. So, yes working on sentence construction is must.

DIALOGUES :

If you're attempting to write a Novella/Fan-fiction, I mean at a point we all started to write stories because it was our favourite fandom/couple and just for time pass so if this book is more than a time pass for you. If you want to make it better I suggest that, in case of dialogues, you use direct and indirect speech like -

She said, "....."

It will be both grammatically correct and make presentation better.

Payment :

A permanent follow and shout out for the review book.

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