Missing Ability (subthan fanfic)

Vis-Versa

(A/N: trigger warning! Do NOT do this at home! And if you are please stop!)

Ethan sat in his room staring at the wall across from him. He didn't know how he and Trevor got back to the kingdom, but he really didn't care at this point. Both him and Trevor have spent countless nights searching for Sub sneaking around the castle illegally.
Their parents have become worried and force them in their rooms for sleep. Trevor's even started cutting with a knife he found in an alleyway. Sometimes Ethan wound slit his wrist once an while.
He stood up and snuck down the stairs that reminded him of when the two first met. He grabbed a pice of paper and a pen on the table next to the couch Sub hid behind. It was still slightly crooked from when Sub kicked the wall and forced it forward on the wooden floor. Ethan slipped back upstairs unnoticed.
He closed his door silently. Like Sub. He sat at his small wooden desk leaning back making his old chair creek. He lauded the paper flag an began to write. A message.
That he wanted to deliver. He made sure the words were bolded so Sub could feel the letters and form them into words. He never knew how much he loved Sub until tears lazily fell out of his eyes as he wrote staining the paper.
With blurred vision he kept writing even if the words were gibberish.
He's never felt so lonely, so tired before in his life. He never knew someone could mean so much to him. His over used vocals burning as he hums quietly to himself. Not a song just different notes mixed into an ugly tune to the ear. He bit his lip stifling a sob as more tears burned his eyes. 'The love f my life is in danger and I'm fucking writing.' Realization struck him. 'I never left the kingdom to search for him. I hate myself!'
Ethan felt anger raise as he realized how stupid he is. He looked threw one of the drawers of his desk. His hand hit the cold metal and he picked it up. With tear filled eyes Ethan opened one of the blades on the pocket knife. He dug it into his skin feeling the burn of the used metal break his skin. 'I'm so fucking pathetic! I can't even protect the one I love!' Ethan's mind reminded him the times Sub got hurt or killed because of him.
He looked over at the heap of blood and dirt stained clothes from when he and Trevor ran away with Sub.
Ethan put the knife straight up in his wrist making sure it was stable. He took one look at his desk and with out hesitation he slammed his wrist on the desk back of the knife first. The blade crossed threw his arm just barely missing on of the bones. He screamed out in pain thought it came out more a small squeak. 'Sub goes threw this every day for countless times! If anything he was protecting you! You fucking coward!' His mind yelled at him. Blood spilled over his desk and part of the letter. The blade was stuck in Ethan's flesh while the handle was stuck between his bones.
He heard his door open and his mom scream at the horrific sight.

"Ethan! Stop! Don't move! Markus! Get a doctor!" She yelled. Ethan gave her a reassuring smile as she walked over cringing.

"Why would you do this?" She mumbled ripping part of Ethan's blanket on his bed to cover the wound. Ethan stayed silent not wanting to tell his mom he fell in love with a boy. He shook his head making some of his silver hair move over his other eye. 'I'm so sorry Sub' was all he wanted to say. His mom wrapped the cloth around his wrist and the knife tying it tightly making Ethan flinch.

"Come downstairs now." She quietly demanded going over what she did wrong in raising her son. Ethan obeyed following his mom to the living room while their dad rushed to get the doctor unaware of what Ethan did to himself.