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When you google the meaning of life, you'll probably get a whole bunch of answers you aren't really looking for, and trust me when I say that searching an answer your life from a search engine isn't going to help. I was once that person who did things in order to determine what my worth had truly meant.
I was so obsessed with the outcome of how my life would be, I never took out the time to realize how much it was going to change if I just continued to hold on a little bit longer. And that's exactly what happened, maybe google did have some truth in it. Giving you minor things, it could help give you insight. But that doesn't mean it was all pretty factual, I had to learn that for myself.
The hard way. But in the end my life ended up teaching me so much more than google, which anyone could probably say that for you. Yet, if there is a soul out there, that was once lost just like me, then all I can really say is... hakuna matata. There are no problems, don't worry about it.
Ugh, Lion King. I seriously owe you everything.
But nonetheless I don't think any of that stuff could have prepared me for this crazy road called life, I don't think anything in the world can help you prepare. You just have to hold on and let the ride take you on whatever path it leads to, sometimes it might get pretty hectic. But just know that I completely understand, there was a time where I couldn't even go a day without crying.
And now? I can't even go a day without smiling, but that doesn't mean some days I don't also go without crying, maybe it's out of happiness, maybe it's sadness for all of the lives that were lost in the middle of trying to protect mine. But I honored them every single day, while looking at my sons. Especially looking at the love of my life, and now I'm here at the end of the road.
What was next?
I took a nervous breath while looking at Brooks, who just nods at me while I stood there preparing myself. Am I ready for this? Everything led me to right now, I had been wanting it for so long. So, why am I nervous? Ugh, maybe it's because I don't want to walk out and fall on my face.
Did my dress even look appealing? God, why did I let Zayn talk me into doing this without having a bit of time, maybe I could've lost a couple of baby pounds that remained in my hip and stomach from giving birth. It had officially been six months, but I haven't made any attempts to lose weight.
But for what it was worth, I truly did not think he was serious about this morning, saying that I should be ready by noon and that a priest was coming to our house. I was half asleep when he told me, only hearing certain parts until Erica ran into my room. Bursting through the doors, while I was half decent to curse at me. She couldn't believe that I would sleep late on my wedding day.
A part of me was confused until I called Zayn on the phone, while he was out doing last minute preparations. Just as the men were setting up in our backyard, I looked out the window to see our garden covered in roses. An archway that looked absolutely stunning, while Erica threw some sweats, panties, t-shirt and shoes at me. A car waiting to take us to a bridal shop.
Fast forward in two hours and here I was in the kitchen, waiting by the backdoor with Brooks while our friends sat outside, Zayn waiting for me at the altar. Harry was also by his side as well.
This was absolutely insane. But I loved every minute of it as well, Zayn did love to keep me on my toes, and if it's not him doing stuff with the mob, it was definitely crazy shit just like this.
I sighed deeply before smiling nervously at Brokos, giving him a nod while wrapping my arm into his. While he taps on the doors, just before they opened up and showed me to the backyard as we headed down the steps. Our friends and some of my family members stood around near the rose petals, as I walked down the aisle.
Every single person was here. Denzel, Vincent, Andrew, Taylor, Micah, Carly with N'dra holding onto her hand, Brandon, Zayn sister's, his grandmother and grandpa, his aunt and her children, even Zayn's mom was actually here, which was a shock to me. But I kept my facial expression minimal, smiling at her with a nod. As she smiles back with a couple of tears, watching me wald. Then finally, we got to Zahir, and while Emiliano fell asleep in my mom's arms.
Erica, my maid of honor standing by the archway, while the priest stood in the middle, just as Zayn and Harry stood on the other side. They're all standing there, everyone wearing giant smiles on their faces. We had been waiting for this moment for so long, thinking it'd never come. And because of my man, my gorgeous man who was so got damn impatient. This was happening.
Holy shit, we're getting married.
My eyes focused on his as we finally made it to the altar, seeing the way Zayn just stared at me while swallowing hard. I could see the nerves running through him, as mine also ran all over the place in mine, Brooks gripping my hand before placing it into Zayn's who smiled brightly at me.
For once he was allowing others to know his emotions, a part of his heart that aches for me just as mine aches strongly for his. We were finally united to become one soul, and I would take any part of his, just to have a piece of him with me. This was something we had wanted forever now.
"Are you ready to do this, firecracker?" He smiles while looking in my eyes.
I take a sharp deep breath, while nodding in confirmation. "As ready as I'll ever be..." I whisper.
The reverend stood there looking at the both of us, smiling while Zayn and I continued to only stare at each other in awe. We're finally getting our happily ever after, fuck you google. I don't need you anymore.
