To Make You Mine

•18•

I lay in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. What was suppose to be a nap turned into five hours, and now it's ten pm and I'm wide awake.
I toss and turn, trying to make myself fall asleep again, but it's just not happening. God I'm so fucking annoyed with myself right now. Why do I have to be all dumb and emotional like a girl? I didn't have this issue before I came here.
There's a light knock on my door and it cracks open, the fact I want to see least right now popping in.
"I could hear you tossing and turning." Tom says, shutting the door behind him and walking in.
"Yeah, can't sleep." I say.
He climbs into my bed next to me and even being this close to him is making my heart jump. Unwillingly.
I lay facing him, and he lays facing me. His hand rises, pushing my hair back.
"I'm sorry." He says.
"For what?" I ask.
"For bringing that girl here." He says.
"It's fine, whatever." I mutter.
He continues to play with my hair. Part of me wants to yell at him to get out and stop touching me, and another part of me never wants him to leave. His brown eyes flick between mine.
"You should get back to sleep, you stayed up way too long." He says.
"Will you stay with me?" I ask.
Wow.. how pathetic am I?
"Yeah." He smiles.
I close my eyes, letting his fingers twirling in my hair calm me, putting me to sleep.
______
My eyes open, seeing I'm alone in bed. He must have gone back to his room once I fell asleep.
I groan to myself, why do I feel this way? I was perfectly fine, and then he played cute lovable guy for two days and my brain is all fuzzy.
I don't have school today, which sucks because that means I'm home, with him, all day.
I'm so embarrassed, did I seriously ask him to stay with me last night? What the fuck is wrong with me. Could I be any more desperate than in that very moment?
I grab my phone, and text Haz.
Addie: are you working?
He responds almost instantly.
Haz: yeah.
I get out of my bed, and grab some clothes, changing. Then I quickly make my way to the bathroom, happy that Tom is still asleep. I finish getting ready and grab my keys, heading to the shop.
"Hey, you alright? You look exhausted." Haz says as I walk in.
"I'm alright." I nod.
"Tea?" He asks.
"Coffee." I say. "Tea isn't gunna cut it today."
"And you're sure you're okay?" He questions once more.
"I'm great! I've got a great roommate, I have a great dance partner, everything is wonderful." I mutter.
He hands me the cup with a frown, obviously knowing that I am not great and that everything is not wonderful.
The door opens, making the bell ring.
"Hey!" The guy smiles to Haz as he walks in.
"Hey Harry." Haz says.
"Please tell me your mum made the blueberry muffins." He pleads.
"Yep, course she did." Haz says, getting a blueberry muffin out of the case and packaging it. "This is Addie, Addie this is Harry. Toms little brother."
"It's nice to meet you." I smile.
"You too." He nods.
The door opens again, this time being someone I'm less than delighted to see.
"Alright I'll see you later." I say to Haz, who looks confused until he sees Tom walk up to us.
"Where are you going?" Tom asks.
"Gunna put some extra hours in at the studio." I say quickly, grabbing my coffee and leaving the shop.
____
I drove around for a while, then found myself at one of London's beautiful lakes. Of course no one else is here, it's the middle of winter and freezing.
Even though my friends from Los Angeles were fake as fuck, I really wish they were here. I just need a girl to talk to. A girl that's not my older sister.
My phone dings, and I hesitantly look at it.
Tom: where are you? You've gotta come home.
Tom: you've been gone a while we're starting to worry.
I roll my eyes, clicking out of his texts and going to text Harrison.
Addie: hey, I'll be home in a bit. No need to worry.
Haz: alright, see you soon.
I enjoy a few more peaceful moments alone by the lake, before turning my car on and taking a while to drive home. Car rides help me process my emotions better, being alone, no sound around me, just the road and me.
I sit in my car a little longer, and get out, walking inside.
"Hey you're back!" Haz says.
"Shhhh." I shush him, not wanting Tom to hear.
Haz laughs at me, shaking his head.
"You just need to get mad with him." He says.
"What do you mean?" I ask.
"Get mad at him, yell at him, call him a dick. Do whatever it takes to get over the upset so you can move on." He explains.
"But I'm not mad at him." I sigh, plopping down onto the couch next to him. "I'm not even upset with him.. you warned me, and I didn't listen. It's on me."
"Well I still think it'd help to yell at him." He shrugs and I laugh.
"Cmon." I hear, Tom walks in front of me, grabbing my hand and pulling my up from the couch.
"What?" I ask as he practically drags me back to his room, that is still messy as ever. I swear this boy has never cleaned his room in his life.
"You're avoiding me." He states.
"I am not." I shake my head.
"You are too." He says.
"Well then take the hint and leave me alone." I say and his brows knit together.
"Why are you avoiding me?" He asks, being absolutely clueless.
"It doesn't matter." I say.
"It does matter." He sighs.
"Because, every time I'm around you all I can think about is the way you called me pretty girl and kissed my cheek, all I can feel is the butterfly's in my stomach when we kissed in the car. I don't want to be around you, because when I'm around you I want to be close to you and hold you and kiss you and I can't. So understand that you did what you had to do, and now I'm going to do what I have to do. Please, just leave me alone."