3 simple rules (lashton boyXboy fanfic)

Chapter 30

WOOOOOOOOOOWW 30 CHAPTERS

SO THAT MEANS ANOTHER CELEBRATION!! AND I KNOW YOU GUYS LOVE IT WHEN WE CELEBRATE SOMETHING!!! JUST LIKE CHAPTER 26!!!!

Hehehe....

Anyway!!

LUKES POV:

Fûck

My

Life...

I have school again. The week of break we had left after Christmas was pretty much just me and Ashton sitting around, watching movies. Honesty, it was really relaxing. Now, I have to return to school. I don't want to... At all. But this is my final year and why not finish it with how ever decent grades I can manage. Even though I know they won't be good.

I hop out of bed and sigh, remembering just a while ago on the first day of school when I went through the same routine. I walk over to my closet, pulling out some clothes and then walk over to my shower.

I quickly rinse out my hair and then sit there for a moment, letting the warm water run over my body. After a minute I jump out and towel off, wrapping it around my waist. I brush my teeth quickly and rinse, shivering at the gross taste of the toothpaste. I slide on my clothes quickly, then towel out my hair. I position it into place after it was completely dry then walk out of my bathroom, throwing the towel in a hamper beside my door.

I walk over and open my closet door, making a face of disgust as I come into view. I turn sideways and sigh, holding my hands to my stomach. Then I place one on my stomach and one on my back, pushing down in annoyance as the fat was squished in. How can no one else see it?! It's right there, the fat! I can feel it, see it, I know I'm not just seeing things.

I take in my features, wondering why I couldn't just be better.

Better looking,
Better at school,
Better at guitar and singing,
Better at being a friend or boyfriend,
Better at everything really.

I look away before I get tempted, oh who am I kidding? I am overwhelmed with want to have back that feeling. But I do not want to disappoint Ashton. But I know, no matter how much I want to stop for Ashton, to not hurt him along with myself anymore. It's an addiction, and I can't just stop. I don't know if anyone else understands that I know, but I do. I understand I can't control this.

But I also understand that I deserve it.

I step away, noticing I have about thirty minutes until Ashton comes over to get me to go to school. I look around for things to distract me, but find it hard. I workout as unbelievable as it sounds, trying to get the want... Need off my mind. I do push-ups which help kind of, until I get tired and don't want to do them anymore.

So weak, can't even do push ups! Failure.

I shake my head and flip over, starting to do curl ups, until I groan in pain as reality catches up to me. My stomach burns with pain as my cuts undergo the motion of the workout. I sigh, looking up at the clock and see ten minutes left.

He might get here earlier, so I can't risk doing anything... But the feeling I just had gave me just a small taste of what I so desperately need. I breath out, leaning back and do more, relishing in the stinging sensation produced.

Suddenly I hear a knock on my window and bolt up, seeing Ashton on the other side." Hey."

"Hey, what were you doing?" He says as I open the window.

"Just some push-ups and sit-ups. You know, healthy yay!" I say, tying to divert his attention from why I might have actually been doing it. For the pain.. Maybe he will assume I was doing it because of my eating disorder. Which is about I quarter true, another quarter dedicated to distracting myself, and half for the feeling it gave me.