Hopelessly Broken

58. All By Ourselves

6.15.20

After having my conversation with Jack, I still felt lonely. With Oliver gone and no one to really talk to, I just laid in my room and stared at the ceiling fan as it span around and around like my emotions in my head. I feel so alone, and it's almost like no one can save my thoughts as they spiral down into the abyss.

Oliver, my first love, dropped because of my stupid opinions. I rolled over onto my face and allowed the tears to fall down onto my pillow. No one would understand the heart ache I'm currently feeling, so I stayed by myself.

"Hey, Dev. I brought up some chocolate; I don't know if you'll like it, but I just want to help you." Papa was the only one that realized how badly it hurts, and I was so thankful to have someone as kind and as him to take care of me. He gently ran a hand up my back, and I leaned up into his touch. I felt something brush my mouth, and I reluctantly ate the chocolate he offered. "I know you're hurting, and I wish I could help you. It hurts to see my baby boy going through so much heartache."

"I'm sorry, I know I'm weak."

"No, no baby. Don't talk about yourself that way. I know exactly how you're feeling because I've felt it before. You have to let go of what you're feeling and focus on getting better. The sooner you realize that the world keeps on turning, the better. Remember that everyone here loves you."

"Papa why does it feel so hard?"

"There's something I should tell you that I'm not exactly supposed to."

"What is it?"

"You've connected the bond with Oliver subconsciously. By that I mean that he can feel it and so can your wolf, but since you're under 18, you can't yet. That's why you feel so bad."

"You're joking, right?"

"No."

"Then why was he able to just leave me?"

"He was probably very angry, and he's probably somewhere ripping his hair out or something. I promise you that he's going to come back for you, but it's going to suck until then."

"Will you tell me what happened when you got separated from Dad? At least I assume that's what happened."

"I was a mess since that was also when I got pregnant with you and your brother. I was alright for a little bit until I was told that he was dead, then... Well I let the bad thoughts get into my head and take over. It wasn't pretty, and I don't want you to end up like that. It would kill me like I killed my father as a boy."

I smiled at Papa as best I could, and he grinned back at me. "I'm worried about myself, but... Well I'm also worried about him. I mean, his home was destroyed, so where is he staying?"

"Everything will come together with time, my boy. You just have to trust that everything has a higher purpose, m'kay?"

Oliver's POV

As soon as I was far enough away, I collapsed. How stupid do I have to be? No he won't trust his opinions with me, and I might not ever get to have his heart again. I don't know why, but hearing about him sympathizing with someone who likes him grated on my mental stability. As much as I hate it, I do still have to deal with the urges my father planted in me as a child.

When I was young, I was taught the ways of mass destruction to be the only path of success. Luckily my mom was still there to keep me from going over the edge like my father, but it was kind of half. I ended up taking most of my mother's values, but when I got angry, I would lash out, say things that I don't mean, and hurt people.

I stood up and kept walking thinking about why. I know he doesn't know yet, but how could I treat someone who my soul is linked to this way? My hand is still red from the contact, and I hate it. I hate myself.

"Qsjodf Pmjwfs," Pana announced from behind me, and I turned to see her alone. (Prince Oliver)

"Zft? Xifsf't Nbhhjf?" (Yes? Where's Maggie?)

"J'n npsf dpodfsoe bcpvu zpv. Xibu ibqqfofe?" (I'm more concerned about you. What happened?)

"J iju nz tpvmnbuf..." (I hit my soulmate...)

"Tvqje." (Stupid.)

"Xbudi ju." (Watch it.)

Pana and I have been friends since we were just little kids, so she knows I didn't mean it. I honestly hate my title; it links me to my father. However, my siblings aren't as kind-hearted as me since they didn't grow up around mom, so I was the only choice to get hell back on track. Oh, I forgot to mention that I have 7 siblings, all younger boys. I would have 8, but the smallest one was killed by my father for basically killing our mother. It was just pregnancy complications, but the child came out weak anyways. Not really a good member for the royal family.

"Pmjwfs, zpv lopx ijuujoh ijn jt xspoh." (Oliver, you know hitting him is wrong.)

"J xbto'u uszjoh, hp bxbz!" (I wasn't trying, go away!)

Pana left, and I felt my heart weighting heavily in my chest. I couldn't get him out of my head, but I knew he wouldn't want to see me after what I did. He probably hates me now, and I'll never be able to talk to him again. I slammed my head against a nearby tree and caused it to fall down while shouting my frustrations to the stars.

Suddenly, a silvery apparition came in front of me, and I had to stumble back in shock. "M-mom?" I breathed while looking at the beautiful woman in front of me, and she smiled.

"Yes, my son."

"You came back..."

"I did, but not for you. How did I raise you, exactly."

"Be kind to everyone I meet, especially my soulmate."

"And what did you do?"

"I lost my temper."

"Exactly, and now you're running away from your problems like a weak human!"

"Mama, I wasn't trying to hurt him."

"But you did, so take responsibility for your actions. You need to go back; he isn't stable on his own."

"I can't..."

"Then you've disappointed your mother."

"Mama."

"Go..." She whispered before disappearing. I collapsed onto the forest floor once more, and I felt rare tears come into my eyes.

"D-Devon." My voice sounded so broken and sad, but I need him. I need his touch, his smile, his voice. I love that boy with all of my heart.

I tried to crawl back up, but apparently I need him for my strength too as I fell down on my face. The sounds of the forest around me were making my skin crawl, but I ignored it as I continued trying to pick myself up. Suddenly, I managed to move into something, and it clipped painfully around my leg. "Help..." I breathed before the world went dark and I was all alone again.