Never

Chapter 1

It's crazy how one word can change everything around you, how one mistake can change you, how one person can become the world to you in one second, then suddenly he becomes a stranger and then to someone who'll always be there for you just that fast. Back then I was too young to understand the concept of change and how strong the force of your heart can be.

I can still remember my first time confessing to him, a small smile slipped from my lips as I reminisced the past.

"What are you doing here Seje?" My heart fluttered when I saw his handsome smiling face from across the hall but it started to beat against my chest more stronger when he spoke as his eyes landed on mine.

I gulped as I adjusted my bow tie, fixing my stance and I gave him a box.

"Happy valentines!" I gleefully greeted, my crescent eyes becoming more pronounce. His eyes shifted to the box I'm holding.

I really hope he accepts this, I spent the whole night to perfect the treats.

"Seje, I told you I don't need you to give me anything." My eyes flickered for a moment. Just like him, the smile I had on my lips turned upside down

"But I made it for you." I tried to push a little guilt on him, but as if he's made of silver armor he deflected my attack and pushed the box to me.

"Then eat it for yourself." He raised his eyebrows.

"No." I pushed the box to him.

"This is yours, if you won't eat it then might as well throw it out." I spat. His eyebrow arched, he looked at the box and seconds later he took it. My smile couldn't be hidden when he took it from my hands.

I knew he would take it...

Or so I thought when he went to the nearest garbage can and threw the box inside. My eyes widened as my mouth parted in shock and disbelief.

"There I did it for you."

"Sehun, why did you-!" I frantically pointed at the garbage can, my legs rushed to it and looked down at my chocolates, the box's lid opened when he threw it leading to my sweet brown treats to jump off the box. I squirmed and shook the can.

My heart felt a pang of pain when I watched the treats I made overnight which I made specially for him to be just sitting sadly and ugly inside the can.

"Why?" I turned around to face him but I was taken back when the moment I turned around I saw his broad chest facing me. I looked up, he's looking down as if he was just watching me grieve for my chocolates earlier.

"You already know why Seje." My lips can't move so I can't reply to him.

I've had a crush on him for months now and one thing I've found out about him is that...

"When I say no, there's no need for negotiation."

But

"I love you." I said the moment I separated my lips. His eyes remained serious, it didn't change the total opposite of mine, my eyes started to moist.

"You already know that I love you." I was too obvious, it would be weird if he didn't. He leaned back and took a step away from me, my breathing rested when he stepped away from me but my heart is still uncontrollably beating so fast.

He placed his hand inside his pockets, without any hesitation he replied.

"No."

And that's how I ended my first love, just like that. I knew there was no turning back from then on, no redo's , I couldn't change anything.

I was too young

I wished to turned back the time from when I gave him the chocolates, no actually from the moment I made him that valentines gift. I just want to go back in time so I wouldn't have to keep hearing him-

"Seje, remember when you used to have a crush on me?" He pulled me near him, grabbing my shoulder as he squeezed them playfully. I rolled my eyes and harshly shrugged him away from me.

"Fuck off Sehun." I said in an irritated tone. All I heard from him is his laughs, echoing the empty park.

"C'mon, don't be so hard on me. Sorry for turning you down." I grunted, pulled away from him and kicked his leg hard, he groaned in pain and bent his knee, caressing the part that I kicked.

"I told you to fuck off." I murmured. Still groaning he remained aiding his leg.

"Wow!" He exclaimed. He stood up, still limping on the leg that I kicked. He shot me a playful look.

"You have the strength of two beasts." He said.

"Do want me to do the other one?" Hoping it would scare him I gave a threat but instead of the reaction that I hoped for he just smiled and sighed.

"Now I regret not eating those chocolates that you made." He murmured.

"Yah." I cut him off. His eyes rested on mine, at that moment I started to become conscious.

"What is it?" I asked. Discreetly looking at my clothes to see if there's anything unusual.

"It'll be valentines day tomorrow. Can you make me one?" My mind stopped functioning for a moment but I pulled myself back together and looked away, turning around in the process.

"Whatever, stop joking around and let's go home." I replied.

Don't you dare believe him Seje.

"You caught on fast." I heard him chuckle. My breathing hitched when I felt him pull my shoulder towards him again, I know I shouldn't feel anything ,I should remain stoic.

"You should help me walk after you did a number on my leg." He acted to wince in pain when he walked, I rolled my eyes secretly.

"You want me to finish your legs so you I can just push you in a wheelchair?" I turned to him, I stopped myself from showing any reaction when his face was just inches away from mine. It's not that his face is away from mind but because I caught him staring at me.

"You're brutal." He smiled. I looked away and continued walking, with his hand around my shoulder.

"I am, so don't mess with me." Keep your face in the front Seje, don't you dare look at him. Keep your feelings inside where it's safe.

He will never see a lover in me. Not then, not now, never. I know that much at least.