Never

Chapter 27

We followed the pair, every step I took felt illegal. I want to just stop and bolt out of this room but that's not one of my options. I have to remain still and quietly run my gaze on his back just like in the past.

Stop being affected by everything Seje...

We stopped in front of the grand rectangular wooden table, there wasn't a lot on the table just a variety of flowers scattered all over the table which matched perfectly with the thick creamy fabric that's been ruffled in place. The main attraction of the table was the four layered yellow cake, it's a massive tower. If you'd compare its size to mine, it would probably reach my ears.

Hana caught our attention when she lightly hit the tip of a fork with the wine glass.

"Before the party officially begins, it's been a tradition in our family for the celebrant to eat a piece of my homemade pastry." She throws a glance at Sungjae, just like that Sungjae left my side and went to her. Just like that I felt lonely once again.

"This is also to make sure it's not poisoned." She quickly joked around, then the crowd laughed at her 'joke' as if there was a cue card saying 'Audience laughs'.

A maid went to the table and got the knife and a saucer before passing it to Sungjae. While Sungjae was getting a slice of cake, my eyes sneaked on Sehun.

He remained silent the moment he saw me, suddenly he wasn't laughing anymore unlike what I saw outside earlier. Just like I didn't exist, he didn't bother to turn my way.

I want to tear my gaze off  him so badly but unlike him, it hurts more if I do.

A painful tug in my chest continued when I saw the way how Hana just naturally clutched on to his arms seems like it was just nothing to them, she's silently telling everyone how they can never take her place.

Her eyes are fixed on Sungjae eating a piece of that cake while Sehun's eyes are fixed on hers.

Nobody could hear my heart slowly screaming out of anguish inside, it's just me. When the pain was slowly reaching its limit, I finally looked away.

Do I really have to witness that? Stop fucking looking at them Seje.

"Let the party commence." Hana announced.

When the crowd applaud, that meant that Sungjae's done with his part. They greeted him again when he walked towards me, after that the crowd began to chat with their peers.

A part of me calmed down when he returned to my side, I couldn't help but to smile at him for coming back.

"It's a bothersome tradition, also embarrassing. What if the girls took a bad angle at me eating?" His small eyes panicked, looking around.

"Yah, they wouldn't waste a single kilobyte on their phone for you." I honestly told him.

"And here I thought you'd be softer to me." Rolling his eyes he whined. I chuckled and reached down on my purse to get something.

"I even said a lot of mushy things and yet-."

I hit his chest with my clenched hand and slowly, my hand fell on his palm. There I opened my palm slowly, once I felt the item leaving from my grasp and into his palm I retrieved my hand.

"A present?" He asked excitedly.

"It's just something I made in a hurry." I looked down on his palm to see the pastel blue fabric wrinkled in his palm.

"It's also wrinkled, you can iron it later." I crossed my arms against my chest.

Curious, he started to uncover the present. Slowly lifting his fingers in by one, he got his other hand and pulled the edge of the fabric showing the small needle work that I did at one corner of the square handkerchief.

"This."

After deciding to attend his birthday I quickly prepared a small present. I had to use my skill in needle work since I haven't bought anything and it's not proper to come without one. While scavenging in my drawers I saw a few handkerchiefs that I haven't used, to make it special I embroidered a Fennec Fox with his initials embroidered below.

"You made this in a hurry?" He asked his eyes still glued on my present with a small smile rising on the corner of his lips.

Is that a smile or is he planning on mocking me?

My cheeks started to feel warm.

"I know I know, it's not perfect and-." He caught me off guard, suddenly pulling me close to him my face got squashed on to his chest. My crossed arms came undone, dropping on the side of my body as his arms pulled me tighter.

"It's perfect." He whispered. My eyes still unable to blink due to shock, my mind is undecided if I should pull out from his hug or just leave him be.

"I'll treasure it." Kissing my hair he declared. I finally breathed when he let me go, I raised my face to meet his eyes. He looks so happy, which made me ponder.

When was the last time I also smiled so cheerfully?

My sentiments got cut when I heard a clinking sound accompanied by people laughing. I turned my face in curiosity and I seriously wished I wasn't so curious all the time.

It felt like watching an old film. Sehun's nose was smudged with the yellow icing of the cake, my eyes immediately saw Hana's index finger raised in midair with traces of icing reservoirs.

"Look at what you made me do, this is your punishment for not paying attention." She smiled, getting a hanky from a maid and rubbing the buttery icing off of her finger.

"I was listening to you." Sehun replied with a pout.

Look away. I told myself.

Hana shook her head and with her hanky, she wiped the icing off of his pointed nose just like how a classic romance film would play out.

"You're a great liar." She tilted her head, carefully wiping off the icing.

"Sorry, I just got distracted." He replied. His eyes remained on her.

It was such a scene that people stared at them enviously and some wanted to experience a moment like that just once in their life.

"Are they together?" One whispered to her peer.

From one person the entire crowd started to ask the same question, are they dating?

"I just heard they dated in the past but I thought they broke up, seems like it wasn't true." One replied.

My hearts anguish became louder. She's in pain, she felt broken, useless, not worthy, once again she felt inferior. Seeing the man she loves to give such loving glances on another woman, even when you built your threshold for pain so high, you'd still break.

I gaped when someone spun me around, tearing my eyes off of the couple.  Sungjae dragged me away from the crowd somehow squeezing our way out, his grip in my wrist tightened as we walked out of the hall.

We stopped on the exact place where we talked earlier.

"I knew it." He sighed, turning to face me.

Eh? Sungjae's face is starting to become a blur.

"What would you do without me." Shaking his head he pulled out a pastel blue handkerchief. Confused I followed his hand and I stopped only when he placed the tip of the hanky on the corner of my eyes.

I blinked.

"How many times will you cry tonight?" In disbelief I got my left hand and tapped softly on the corner of my other eye.

A warm liquid immediately embraced my finger, drenching the tip of my nail. It just dawned to me that I am crying once again.

Huh. Am I really at this point where I couldn't feel the burning of my eyes anymore, where a blurry sight is a normal instance for me? Where getting broken into pulverized pieces is deemed, okay?

I'm tired.