Sanders Sides Oneshots

Sweet, Sour, Salty, Spicy Pt.2 - Logicality

Because it's been long overdue...

Patton walked into the school building and instantly managed to get separated from  Logan when all of his friends, Spices and Sweets alike, rushed to check on him.

"You actually salt-tried? Are you okay?"

"I heard that you vomited up your insides."

"What did it taste like?"

"Are you grounded or something?"

Luckily, Roman came to the rescue. "Padre, there you are!" He said loudly, forcing his way through the crowd. "Come with me, I need to talk to you about some cute Sours I just saw."

Patton mouthed, 'thank you,' as his friend grabbed his wrist and dragged him from the people who still seemed eager to ask questions. That's how Patton found himself sitting on the surprisingly clean window ledge, with Roman leaning near the sinks, adding on the tiniest hint of red eyeshadow to his eyes.

"And then I said to him, no, you were fine, but he managed to interpret it as, yes, Patton is dying. Like, bruh," Roman snorted.

Patton shrugged. "Well, he's not the only person I know who likes drama," He taunted cheekily.

Roman gasped. "I don't like drama! Theatre, yes, but petty gossip? Never!"

"You're literally bitching about your friends to me while we miss first period, you are totally into  gossip."

The fanciful Spice arched an eyebrow. "Wow, you just cursed. Something's up."

"I dunno," The Sweet huffed. "I had been with Logan on the bus and we had been talking then the moment I get inside the school building everyone crowds around me and he just vanishes."

"That's rough, buddy," Hummed Thomas as the doors opened.

A Bland stepped in. Blands are interesting. They look like any Flavour just without, well, flavouring. They are dull, with no sprinkles, chilli, salt or lemons. Imagine that. The Bland looked almost horrified upon seeing two incredibly popular Flavours in the bathroom and he began to mouth some apologies quietly, turning away.

"No," Patton called out. "It's fine if you need to use the toilet," The Bland hesitated quietly and Patton offered him a calm, reassuring smile. "Roman's only gossiping, really. Seriously, I'm actually kind of bored of it."

Roman pulled back, offended. "Patton, how could you?" He gasped. "Do you suggest I'm boring? Am I not fabulous enough to meet your expectations as much as a certain Sour?"

Patton flushed as the Bland gently crept his way into a cubicle. "Roman, shush!"

"Oh, Logan," Roman breathed huskily, smiling mischievously at Patton as he playfully mimicked his best friend. "You're so beautiful-! Why, Patton," His voice turned monochrome and robotic. "Please accept my deepest gratitude for that compliment. You are also satisfactory to look at-!"

"Oh, shut up!" Patton laughed, swiping at Roman with a giggle. "Two can play at that game, y'know!"

Roman rolled his eyes. "Oh, come now, Patton. We both know that no one has caught my eye-"

"It's vinegar, pussy," Patton said, in such a perfect imitation of the Salt that it was creepy.

His Spice friend blushed brightly. "Hey, now, that's not fair! I am not at all interested in Salty McVinegar, no, sir. Salts and Spices don't mix, remember?"