Aurora [H.S AU]

Chapter 49

Would you love me less?
If you knew the places that I've been?
If you knew the damage that I did?
Would you love me less? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
I got too much dirt to come clean
Closets full of skeletons that you don't wanna see
Will you judge me? All my ugly?
I won't blame you if you do
No lies, don't wanna keep no secrets
Even if what I'ma say will you leave speechless
No secrets
If I introduce you to my demons, tell me, baby
Would you love me less?

Song: Love Me Less, by MAX

***

Aster's P.O.V.: 

His whole body tenses up immediately, the hand that was stroking my hair halting its movements. Even his breath seems to have stopped.

I wait for his answer, my own body tensing up in reflection, completely aware I really struck a nerve here.

"Where did you..." He starts after what feels like hours. "Where did you hear his name?"

"That night at the warehouse."

Harry stays quiet, but I hear how fast his heart is beating, I can almost feel it against my cheek that's resting on his chest. I wait, trying to give him space, but my heart is starting to race too, I wasn't expecting him to get this tense. Maybe I started off with the wrong question, there's so much I wanna know, maybe I should easy him into answering the hard stuff by asking the easier questions first?

"You can tell me about him later." I speak quietly, raising my face from his chest with the closest to a soft smile that I can manage displayed on my lips. "There's other stuff I want to know too."

His eyes dance all over my face, taking in my expression, and he nods slowly, taking what he can get at the moment.

"What you wanna know?" He asks.

"I wanna know what is it that you do, how this all started. And why." I tell him matter-of-factly.

"OK." Harry takes a deep breath, sitting straight on the couch, one of his legs bent down under his body, his knee popping out and brushing on mine. "Remember your 15th birthday? A week before, my mom found about about the drug thing and decided to split up from my father. They never told me the real reason till I was already living in England with my mom."

"You know about it for this long?" My jaw falls to the ground, completely baffled. Harry was 17 when it happened, it's almost 10 years ago, he was so young to have to deal with something like this...

"Yep. It took me about 3 years to even talk to my father again after I found out about it."

"What? How come? I've never knew about that."

"Yeah, my mum didn't want any kind of contact with him and I was with her on that. I was disappointed and angry, for having to move to another country because of him. In my mind I blamed him, for giving my mum a reason to leave and bring me along." Harry shakes his head, as if silently regretting a decision he made so many years ago. "But after 3 years I kind of wanted to hear my father's version."

"Did you ever... I mean, hm..." I clear my throat, trying to find the right words to ask what want. "Did you ever thought about telling me? Back then, I mean..."

I stop talking when Harry grabs my hand, intertwining our fingers and stroking his thumb on my skin.

"I wanted to tell you, but... At the same time, I simply couldn't bring myself to disappoint you, it felt like I would be destroying your dream, and I... I'm so sorry, Bunny, I couldn't do it. I was young and scared."