To Love Irrevocably [18+]

Chapter Three

Waking up the next day is like walking through the desert without water. At some point in the night, my apartment became a hot zone and without an open window, air circulation was nonexistent. From the muggy place and buckets of sweat, my skin feels repulsive and like I'd be able to scratch layers of dirt away.

Forcing myself up from the hot bed, I make my way to the bathroom for a much needed wash up. The light blinds me once I turn it on. I stop to stare at the mirror for a moment, taking in my glistening forehead and lanky body. There's not an ounce of muscle that I can detect. I'm small, too small for my liking.

I shake my head and hurry into the shower, turning it on and letting the semi-cold water pelt me. Immediately, my body relaxes as it cools down. A breath leaves my mouth, and I tilt my head forward. Water rushes down the back of my head and neck as I rest it on the porcelain wall that's around me.

Yesterday was a shit day for me, but I hope today will be better.

Once I'm finally done, dressed, and out of my raggedy apartment, I head to the nearest bus stop. Cabs in the city are a hassle to flag down, which is something I've noticed. They don't even come to the block where my building is. Ubers and Lyfts are just overcharged means of transportation, which I'm never going to be willing to pay for. Similar to my small town, most things in this city are within walking distance. If a person gets lucky and finds the perfect accommodations, they'll be able to walk five steps to their job. For me, with the area I live in, there's a hefty distance to No No Technologies.

Since I arrived in the city, the bus has been my saving grace.

It takes five minutes for the transportation to arrive and another fifteen to reach my stop. Stepping off of the vehicle, I walk half a block before stopping outside of the impending structure that is my workplace. Pushing my way in, I nod a small greeting to Daisy after she waves to me. The blinding smile on her face makes me feel better about my second day.

And just like the day before, I use the elevator to go up. As I expected, Amy is already at her desk. When the lift dings and the doors slide open, she looks over. Even from where I stand, I can see her cheeks redden to match her hair. Amy straightens and fiddles with her pink blouse as I walk over.

"Hi, Sutton," she speaks meekly, drawing her light brown eyes to the desk she rests on. "How was the rest of your night?"

"Fine," I reply, clearing my throat and rubbing the back of my neck. Glancing towards my desk, I measure the distance between here and there. "And yours?"

Amy smiles, flashing me her pearly whites. "I actually feel really guilty about yesterday. You know, and I spent all night thinking about what a huge bitch I am for like... just assuming. Ya know?"

Barely able to keep up with her rambling, I just nod. The snippets I catch reel me right back to Jessica's when Amy announced that I'm gay and still in the closet. Again, I look over at my desk and wonder if I should just make a break for it. I return my eyes to Amy and she's frowning now.

"Listen, Sutton, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have assumed your sexuality like that. It's just as bad as assuming your gender which is wrong nowadays..." Amy trails off again, starting in a new subject about being politically correct.

"Amy," I interrupt, clearing my throat. "It's okay, really. I know that I'm a bit soft and I know how that can seem, no matter how P.C. the world is today. Everyone will always question."

Which is unfortunately true. Despite the world changing and things being more culturally accepted, it's not quite there yet. In society, we still live where a man wearing makeup is seen as taboo. People may not express their disapproval in an obvious way, but there's always that look in their eyes. And because of my nature and how I come off—timid and afraid—most perceive me as gay. They look at me and decide that a man can't be soft.

"Really?" Amy squeaks, widening her eyes. Her cherry red lips part and she laughs, and the sound comes out light and cheerful. "That's amazing! Thank you. God, I wasn't sure if I completely shoved my foot in my mouth, ya know?"

"Yeah, I know." I nod, giving her an awkward smile. "Listen, I have to get to work, so I'm going to head to my desk, okay?"

"Yeah, for sure!"

Making a hasty getaway, I'm actually happy to see the stack of papers I left yesterday. Setting my things down, I blow out a breath and turn towards my boss's office. I knock with a trembling fist, hoping he's not here for whatever reason.

My hopes die when I receive confirmation to come into the room. Pushing the door open, I meet the green eyes of Mister Novak. His hands are crossed under his chin as he leans forward on his desk. One of his dark eyebrows is raised expectantly.

"Good morning, Sutton. I'm glad you're here," he says, his voice a deep and monotone rumble.

"Uh, thank you, sir. There's still a few papers left. Most of the codes have been checked over and I've made some corrections and noted where bugs were."

He nods and leans back into his comfortable looking chair. "Great. You can finish those up today. There's also a meeting today and as it'll be your first with me and the company, I only want you to sit in. Take notes when it's time. Understand?"

Swallowing, I nod my head, agreeing with his proposal. This'll be the moment that most likely makes or breaks me. I'll either do bad or do good, which will determine if I'm fit for the job or not.

When he sees only my nod, Mister Novak sighs and gestures me away. "Get back to work and don't forget to check the schedule so you can get ready for the meeting."

"Yes, sir." I hurry out, my tail between my legs as embarrassment envelops me.

***

My back aches by the time my shift is over. A single light remains on once I finish up. The rest of the floor is already gone and there's only Mister Novak and I. After the meeting, he disappeared into his office once again. I passed the notes I took to him, then there was nothing for the rest of the day.

For lunch, Amy and I went out again. Luckily, there were no more blunders or miscommunication. If there had been, I don't think I would survive working at No No Technologies. Not with a constant reminder so close, at least.

I stand and stretch, yawning loudly and obnoxiously. With the click of a button, I power down the desktop and watch as the mountain screensaver disappears, replaced by black. After another yawn, I gather my things and head towards the elevator.

Before I reach it, they open, effectively scaring me in the process. A blonde woman steps out, her heels clicking on the ground. With her hands shoved in the pockets of her trench coat, she breezes past me, sparing me a smile in the process.

I turn and watch her as she walks straight into Mister Novak's office. With red cheeks, I ignore the scene and decide to head out. That's enough for me and now I'm ready for dinner and bed.