To Love Irrevocably [18+]

Chapter Thirty-Five

Pacing outside of Seren's front door is all the courage I've found within myself. Glancing at the other apartment doors, I just hope no one calls the cops on me. That would be quite the apology. I love you enough to get arrested.

I shake my head and push those thoughts away. This isn't the time for awkward and nervous jokes. The entire bus ride here, I struggled to find the words that I would say. It's difficult putting my feelings into words and admitting that I'm just an insecure fool. Realizing that's something I really have to work on is one of the reasons I'm here. Seren never should have been subjected to my paranoia about our relationship failing one day. I shouldn't have projected onto her.

Taking a deep breath, I lift my hand. Before I can knock, the door flies open and there stands Seren. Her face is blank while her eyebrow is raised. With a hand on her hip, she stands blocking the way into her apartment. She doesn't appear happy at all.

"Seren," I squeak and clear my throat. So much for coming off strong. "Can... Can we talk, please?"

A split second leaves me feeling like she's going to slam the door in my face. Her amber eyes stare into me, reaching the very depths of my soul. Then she steps aside and things look up for just a moment. Sighing in relief, I step into her apartment and head straight for her room.

If I hadn't spent so many nights here, this would feel rude and awkward. Maybe it still should since we're on break, but I can't do that with Seren. I can't allow myself to feel uncomfortable around her. Not when she's the only one—not in my family—I can be myself around.

I take a seat at the foot of the bed and wait. With crossed arms, Seren struts into the bedroom at a slow pace. Her face is still a blank cloud of pretty eyes, a petite nose, and plump lips. I grow a little nervous as each second passes. She's truly not happy I'm here.

When she's close enough, I stand up and grip her shoulders in a gentle hold. Turning us, I push until she sits on the bed. Then I kneel in front of her.

"What are you doing, Sutton?" She sighs, uncrossing her arms.

"Preparing to grovel." I give her a sheepish smile before taking a deep breath. "Your job isn't a problem. It never has been and it never will be. I can't tell you enough how sorry I am for making a big deal out of something so normal."

She opens her mouth to speak, but I shake my head. This needs to come out before I receive a rebuttal. At least then, if she wanted to put an infinite end to it, I'll have said my piece.

"I meant what I said, Seren. I love that you're so unapologetically yourself and that you can go out on that stage and make men come in their pants without even touching them." I've never sounded so vulgar before. Swearing, in front of my boss no less, and saying words like come are all new. "I would never want to take that away from you, not something you truly enjoy, and I'm so sorry that I made it seem that way."