To Love Irrevocably [18+]

Chapter Thirteen

The ceiling is becoming more and more interesting as I sit here. The sun hasn't risen yet, but I'm wide awake. Last night, it was a struggle to go to sleep. All I could think about was my date with the red-haired beauty who I now know is called Seren. Ariel is just a stage name, as I probably should have guessed. Even though I've somewhat grown attached to the thought of her being the little mermaid, I find Seren to be a beautiful counterpart. Now that I know, I can't unknow.

Turning on my side, I clutch my pillow firm against my chest. Each time I close my eyes, I welcome the sight of her beautiful face. Her smile is wide and seductive, enticing me with every second that I imagine her. Even her fruity smell is tickling my nose as I remember the various hints I caught before. I squeeze my hands into fists, visualizing the smooth skin of her hips under them. It's all a memory until it's not.

The image takes a turn, changing into something more erotic. Before I can pull myself from the picture in my head, Seren's luscious lips meet my own. They pull a sigh from me as I assume they're soft and comforting, like warm pillows during a chilly night. Despite this being my own imagination, I still don't know what I'm doing. Imagination Seren takes the lead, guiding me and, without a word, telling me what to do.

My hands trail up her back until they reach the bra strap of her bedazzled covering. Then I unsnap the clasp. Seren steps away from me, her hands clutching the material to her chest. She throws a sultry look my way and I imagine the desire to appear in her eyes, making them alight with fire. The same fire that's burning in my stomach now.

"I could just eat you up, Sutton," she whispers before biting her lip. The same lip that was touching mine.

She drops one hand. The strap falls down her arm, tempting me, teasing me. She drops the other arm and the whole bra falls to the ground. I can't catch my breath, but not because of her. It's because where breasts should be is nothing but a fuzzy image. How can I imagine something I've never seen before?

A groan of dissatisfaction leaves me as everything clears from my head. My beautiful Seren fades away and all I'm left with is arousal and desire for a woman who isn't here. It hits me then. I've just had a wet dream about my little mermaid. Red covers my face. I feel it with the heat of the room.

On one hand, I feel disgusting for imagining Seren like that. It feels like I'm some jerk who doesn't do anything more than objectify women. But on the other hand, the scene was so carnal, so real. For the first time, I feel like more than a little boy. I feel like an adult.

The stiffness further down continues growing. It makes me blush more than I already am. But that's one thing I won't do. I can't use Seren like that, even if she won't know what I'm doing. Something like masturbating to her before we've been on our first date... it seems dirty.

Getting up with stiff muscles, I painfully walk to the bathroom for a cold shower. Modern media claims that cold showers can help. I only hope that's true.