2020 journal

august 2, 2020

12:48 a.m.

oh my gosh, not gonna lie, i forgot this journal existed. this entire month, i've just spent most of my time working, netflixing, and thinking--lots of thinking actually. maybe it's time for me to reflect on the past month.

i've definitely been better this past month than i have been since the pandemic started, but as i look ahead to the fall semester, unfortunately i am not very hopeful.

the first part of july was chill other than the fact that i really missed my ex-girlfriend, and even though we were talking again, it just wasn't the same. despite that, she still remains the person i trust the most, so i was very grateful to have someone to talk to again. she left for basic training a few weeks ago, and once she had to turn her phone off, we started writing letters. i've sent a couple every week since and have received a few back. i'm really happy and glad that i have a form of communication with her. she leaves for the beast week (although in this case it's two weeks) soon, so she won't be able to write me for a while but will still receive mine. i'm not sure if i will be able to attend her graduation because i'm not family, and obviously, they're trying to limit the number of people in attendance.

but i also don't know if i can go because i might be in los angeles. usc still hasn't given us housing assignments yet, so i don't know if i'm going to campus or not. i really want to go because 1) i want to be in l.a. and explore and 2) being away from home is the best thing for my mental health and will result in more productivity. however, i'm very confident that i'm not going to receive housing and will have to stay home. there are some perks to staying at home though. not only do i save money on housing, but i will receive money as well to make up for it (i think it's up to $4,000 a semester based on need?). we also will save money on the meal plans and other student fees. i'm still hoping they lower tuition too.

either way, i have a little video diary project in mind! i want to do like a 30 seconds a day thing to document my experience attending college virtually. even if it's shitty, i think future me will appreciate it and want to see it. it comes back to that one article about keeping a pandemic journal with the purpose being to remember how we lived through it and what we did.

i also wrote a letter earlier today to my friend who is at basic training at west point right now. we're good friends, but we're not super close, so to be honest i didn't know what to write. i just wanted to let him know that i'm thinking of him and that i know he's doing great and that i'm proud of him.

7:32 p.m.

oops i fell asleep. i'll write again another day. soon.