Stories Focussed On Spider-Man

Living the Single Life

Info: you know the drill, Avengers don't know who Spider-Man is...

"And this just in, Otto Octavius is terrorising New York once again," the newscaster sighed, it was honestly just another Tuesday. "In other news, a man named G-"

Peter shut off the TV in his room, closing his math book where he had been working on his Calc homework. A moment later, he not only was in his Spider-Man uniform, but had also managed to knock over his lamp. He crawled out of his window, and began the search for the supervillain, laying low for several blocks so that no one suspected where he might live.

In a matter of minutes, he had tracked down the evil genius. "Hey, Oc!" he hollered. "I've been having a trouble with this sushi recipe, mind lending a hand? Or four?" Spider-Man leapt in front of the villain and cackled. "Would you believe me if I told you I had thought of that one of the spot?"

"Well if it isn't the annoying Bug-Boy," Doc Oc drawled, tossing aside the money he had collected from the bank robbery he just pulled in preparation for the upcoming fight. Spider-Man scoffed, offended.

"It isn't. It's the totally not annoying Spider-Man!" he announced as he stuck a web over his enemy's eyes. "Yeah, okay. I can see how that might be a little annoying."

Rather than immediately trying to get the webbing off, the evil maniac smirked and pressed something on his ear. "Oh, Sinister Six," he said, his voice sing songy, "he's here!"

With his enhanced hearing, Spider-Man could make out the voice of Kraven the Hunter speaking. "The spider took the bait. Good. My traps never fail."

"Is that Kraven I hear? Tell him I said 'hi'!"

"Tell him yourself," Oc spat, beginning the struggle of unwebbing his eyes.

"Oo! That sounds vaguely menacing," he smiled. "Foreshadowing, anyone?" A thud sounded from behind him. "Knew it." He turned and waved. "Kraven, hi! This isn't what it looks like! Oc just kind of showed up and you know how I can't let the civilians get hurt. I still love the game of spider and mouse we've got going on!"

"I believe you have the roles reversed," Kraven growled. "I am a predator. This is a lion and spider situation." He leapt at his enemy, a snarl playing on his features.

"I hear you, I hear you! No need to get aggressive! We can sort this out like civilised mutants!"

"Can we really?" Spider-Man turned to the source of the new voice, immediately sidestepping Vulture's vain attempt to dive at him and end the fight early.

"Uh, yeah? Ever hear of talking?"

"Ever hear of shutting up?" Rhino hollered as he charged onto the scene. Spidey flipped over him with ease.

"That one hurt on an emotional level, Horny," the hero frowned, faux hurt showing via his body language.

"Wanna hug it out?"

"No thanks! I'd prefer social distancing! Plus, you aren't wearing your mask!" A string of webs covered Rhino's mouth. As seemingly a last minute thought, he made 'masks' for Kraven and Oc as well. "There, all better. Kudos to the Vulch for bringing his own to the party!"

"But I brought one, too," said a new, familiar, sinister voice, "Spider-Man."

"Hey, Tasky! Long time, no kicking your butt!"

"Big words from a small bug," came a sixth voice. Electro. Upon his arrival, the villains took that as their que to engaged in an all-out battle of tentacles, shocks, traps, parkour moves, puns, and swooping dives. Spider-Man was probably having a little too much fun, but who could blame him? Their teamwork was obviously lacking and he just had to make the most of it.

"Too slow, Horny!"

"I'll squash you!"

"I prefer more humane pest control, Oc!"

"You'll wish you were dead by the time I'm through with you!"

"I've had harder fights with bug spray, Kraven!"

Eventually, they couldn't take what Spider-Man was dishing out, both mentally and physically. He webbed them all up in cozy cocoons created by his artificial webs, waiting to make sure the police were on their way before shooting a web to take off.

"Guess you didn't need any help, Spider-Man." A cheerful voice commented, making the webslinger stop in his tracks and turn. There, radiating the awesome vibe they always seemed to possess, were the Avengers. Or, two of them, at least.

"Hey, Spidey!" Hawkeye grinned, waving. "Big fan!"

"Uh, y-yeah. Hi?" Spider-Man stammered. "It's an honor. Wh-what are you doing here? I'm not in trouble, am I?"

"No, we came to lend a hand when we saw on the news that six supervillains had teamed up on you," Iron Man explained.

"So no need for a visit to Principal Fury, then?"

Iron Man snorted. "Nah."

"Sweet! I was worried someone might've ratted me out about the missing Calc homework," came the seemingly sarcastic reply.

"Hey," Hawkeye spoke up, "we were in the middle of playing Two Truths and a Lie back at the tower if you want to join in? You'd be great at it!"

"Who am I to turn down an Avenger?" Spider-Man grinned, knowing they couldn't see his awe-struck expression.

"Wait! Instead of Stark flying me back, do you mind webbing me there? I've always wanted to do it!" Hawkeye asked, trying his hardest to give off 'baby doll eyes'. Which was difficult considering he's a grown man.

"Of course! It's honestly so much fun!" Spider-Man agreed, jogging over and wrapping an arm around the older man's torso immediately shooting off into the air,remembering to stick the archer's body to his own. The spy didn't realize the safety precaution the vigilante took and continued to cling to the hero for dear life, regretting every desicion that led up to those moments in his life. It probably didn't help when Spider-Man did a flip, laughing in glee and at Hawkeye's fear. Iron Man followed closely behind, catching the whole thing in camera for blackmail purposes. They entered the living room via window and Stark immediately let his nanotech suit dissolve around him. Spider-Man unstuck Clint from his body and found himself prying the archer off. Scaredy cat.

"Okay, b-back to the game," Clint stammered. "I have three kids. I drive a mini-van when I visit home. I have a cow."

"No way an Avenger drives a mini-van," Spider-Man commented. The rest, taking his appearance in stride, thought for a moment.

"You don't have a cow," Natasha, Black Widow, stated after a moment.

"Oh my gosh," Spider-Man mumbled.

"My turn," Natasha declared. "Let's see, I know ballet. I've died my hair green. I speak five languages."

"No way your hair has ever been green," Bruce commented.

"I can't see her doing ballet either, though," Sam said with pursed lips.

"You know six languages," Spider-Man pointed out. Everyone turned to look at him. "What? I'm a fan. Does this make it my turn?"

"Yeah, go ahead," Clint encouraged.

"Okay then. I've been crushed by a building, therefore developing severe claustrophobia. I have a girlfriend. The man who raised me bled out in my arms."

Silence.

"No one survives getting crushed by a building."

"No way he's sane after his dad bled out in his arms!"

"It's the building, I swear!"

"It's the dad one!"

An argument ensued as they tried to figure out which traumatic experience he made up.

"Want the answer?" he asked tentatively after a minute. He recieved several nods. "Well, I'm single, guys."