Love Doesn't Exist || H.S

chapter twenty-four

Emily

After Harry and I kissed last night, I don't know what I was expecting to happen afterwards. All I know is it certainly wasn't this.

Harry had been avoiding me at all costs. He'd been avoiding me like a 8 year-old girl avoids boy cooties. Avoiding me like a fucking baby. And what was most aggravating about it was that he had been avoiding me pretty well. 

As soon as we'd gotten inside Harry had ran upstairs to his room. I had expected him to go up there to change and I was half correct. He had come down, now wearing another pair of black but dry skinny jeans and a half buttoned up white shirt, only to excuse himself saying he was 'going out to get some food for us', seeing as our Chinese take out had ended up being a sloppy and very wet mess.

And after an hour of twisting my ring until my finger nearly fell off, I came to the conclusion Harry was going to be gone for more then 'a while' and wasn't bringing back 'food for us'. So I ended up having to order another Chinese order so I could eat. 

And of course, I had thought to buy Harry some too, because part of me was hoping that maybe he was coming back and he'd gotten stuck in traffic.

So half an hour later, the take out arrived with no sign of Harry. And who had been the one to retrieve it this time? Me. I'd gone out in the wet and cold rain that didn't seem so fun to be in anymore. I'd had to deal with the same annoying and grumpy driver who was judging my incapability to pass him the money in the orderly fashion that he liked. And did this second trip out in the now much more freezing rain result in Harry and I together again? No. It resulted in me soaking wet and dripping water all over his nice clean floors. But did I care? Not one bit. Why? Because that was payback for Harry acting like he was.

And when I thought last night couldn't get any worse, I was far from correct. I ended up eating the take out by myself and absolutely freezing myself to death because I wanted to be downstairs when Harry got home.

But yet again, Harry didn't show up. And after waiting another hour for him to come home, he didn't. So I grumpily retreated up the stairs, making sure to sit Harry's Chinese that I'd so kindly bought for the two of us, outside his door with a loud thump, and left to the guest room. The guest room where I'd gotten no sleep because my head was buzzing with thoughts of Harry.

And when I finally felt myself drifting off to sleep at 2 in the morning, I heard the front door slam open and close before what I concluded was a drunk Harry, making far too much noise when coming up the stairs. 

And did my lack of sleep affect my mood this morning? Yes. I woke up, grumpier then ever, half expecting to even see Harry. But did I? No. Instead there was a pile of sloppy Chinese on the floor outside his room that looked like it had been knocked over by his drunk self. And there was absolutely no sign of Harry downstairs.

So I decided, if Harry was going to act like a kid, then so was I.

I grabbed my now packed bag and marched my way to his room where I began pounding my fists against his door.

"Harry open this damn door right now!" I shouted at him. I got no response and instead began hitting the door with my palm, making an even louder noise. "This is your last chance to open the fucking door!"

Surprisingly the door was flung open and my palm collided with Harry's bare chest. 

"Sorry!" I blurted out as I brought my hand to my mouth before removing it straight away after realising Harry deserved that. My eyes flickered down to see he had wrapped his bed sheet around his waist and was holding on to it tightly.

I quickly teared my eyes away from Harry's naked body that was only covered by the sheet and to his eyes instead. I opened my mouth, ready to shout my well thought speech I'd prepared in my head, but heard a thump behind him and then some giggling.

I shot my head towards the noise to find an even less dressed woman on his floor. She looked like she'd attempted to grab her lack of bra and underwear from the ground but fallen over in the process. 

I looked back towards Harry who was already staring straight at me with what looked like a hint of regret in his eyes. I could feel a lump had already formed in my throat and I mentally cursed at myself for it.

"Emily I-"

"Don't" I said through gritted teeth, swallowing the lump in my throat. "I was going to congratulate you on finally growing a pear and actually facing me instead of avoiding me. But I can clearly see you've been busy and haven't done that at all. Instead you've acted just as childish and-"

"Harry come back in. We're not finished yet" The unknown girl groaned as she began tugging on Harry's hand, still wearing nothing and not bothering to cover herself up with anything. I kept my eyes on the ground, not wanting to even glance in hers or Harry's direction.

"Hold on Amanda" Harry said before turning back to me.

I felt the lump in my throat growing by the second at Harry's words. He was obviously planning on going back in there with her, and annoyingly I wanted to scream, cry, and hit Harry all at once.

Harry turned back to me, his eyes slightly wider as though he'd forgotten I was still standing here and wouldn't have said that if he'd knew.

"I won't interrupt anything else then" I said before turning around and walking away, the lump in my throat growing bigger with each step.

"Amanda wai-" Harry stopped half way when he realised what he said. I was hoping to the gods above Harry wasn't talking to me, but when I stopped midway and turned to face him, my thoughts were confirmed. "Emily. I meant Emi-"

"I don't care what you meant Harry!" I shouted at him as my eyes started to well up. I turned around once again and walked away from him before he could witness any tears falling.

Everything felt wrong. Everything was wrong. This was not what was supposed to happen. This never happens in movies. You're supposed to get together with the guy you just kissed in the rain. Everything's supposed to end happily. Not in tears. And yet here I was, now walking down Harry's driveway with tears streaming down my face.

I wanted to think Harry would come running out to get me. I wanted to think Harry would come bursting through his front door. I wanted him to easily catch up to me and not let me leave until he explained. I wanted him fight for me. But why should he? We only kissed. And yet for some god damn reason it felt like that kiss meant something so much more then what it should have. So why should he come running out his door to stop me? Why should he not let me leave until he explains? Why should he fight for me? 

*Sips tea*